All Things "Americana"

It's so weird how in Chile they have a whole bunch of things that are considered "American," that I've never seen or heard of before. Aside from the stereotypes that Chileans have that come from the imported movies they see about U.S. culture, they have things called Cocina Americana (American Kitchen), Cama Americana (American Bed), Salsa Americana (American Sauce), Crema Americana (American Cream) etc. If you're living here in Chile and think of more "cosas americanas" feel free to add them in the comments. There are a lot of other examples, I just can't think of them at the moment.

I think it's so funny! I mean, salsa Americana is disgusting, and I had never tried anything like that in my life before coming here. Their idea of a cama Americana is two matresses on top of each other without the bed frame. A Chilean bed normally just has one mattress in a frame. When I told S's family that beds in the U.S. are normally two mattresses in a frame as well, they were really shocked. They were totally convinced that if something is called "Americana" here than it must be exactly like what we use in the U.S. A cocina americana makes the most sense to me. It's a kitchen with a bar. A lot of homes in the U.S. do have that style of kitchen, although I've also lived in a few that didn't. But the typical Chilean kitchen is long, skinny, and enclosed so the difference is huge, and I'd take a cocina americana anyday (in fact, it's one of my requirements for an apartment). And as for crema americana, it's a flavor of ice cream. I tried it and I wasn't sure what it tasted like. It was familiar to me but at the same time it wasn't an everday flavor.

Anyways, the point of this post isn't what things are considered American, but rather how we are perceived. It's so odd to be here and realize that sometimes Chileans hit the nail right on the head with their idea of our culture (talk loud, trust in our fellow citizens, fat and obsessed with Disney World-kidding!) and other times they are pretty far off base (we all support George Bush and the war, we're all ridiculously rich and just rolling in money, and we all love salsa Americana).

Seeing yourself through someone else's eyes is an interesting experience. Jayna's whole blog is actually about how the U.S. is perceived in other countries and it's really well written, so if you get the chance, check her out.

In the Name of Thanksgiving

Originally from The Adams Family, jacked from a guy who jacked it from a friend....Wednesday Adams as a Native American in a school play about pilgrims:

"Wait! We cannot break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, and you will play golf, and eat hot hors d'oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They said do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller. And for all of these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground."

And even though it's not Thanksgiving related, I'll leave with another gem from the same movie. If you don't think these quotes are funny, I'm not sure we can be friends anymore :)

Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?
Wednesday: Yes.
Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?
Pugsley: Yes.
Girl Scout: Well, I'll tell you what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?

The Metro

I'm a bad blogger! Lately every spare second I've had has been dedicated to looking for an apartment for us to rent. Yes, we're leaaaaaaaaaaving!!!! Now, it's just a matter of finding the right place, but so far everything we've look at has been, too far from transportation, too small, too old, too expensive...too something. Today I went to look at an apartment and I LOVED it. Then we called to rent it and the guy said that somebody who had looked at it yesterday had just called and was probably going to sign a lease on Thursday. I'm really disappointed because I thought that was the one. So the search is still on...

*updated, I'm a seriously bad blogger. I started this entry two days ago and just finished it now.

I've been riding all over Santiago on the metro, which is my favorite form of transportation. It provides me with endless sources of entertainment. I love embaressing guys who stare for too long by saying something to them loud enough for everyone to overhear. The time when a guy grabbed my hand because he thought I was his girlfriend was great (in his defense, it was really crowded and his girlfriend and I were hanging on to to the same handle). I also REALLY enjoy watching people get stuck in the doors! One time the doors closed on a guy's mullet and he had to ride with LONG part of his Shlong flying on the touside. SO funny!!!

But in the past two weeks two kind of scary things have happened while I was in the metro. On Monday, a girl fainted. It was just like Rebecca in America's Next Top Model. Seriously, watch this video even if you don't like the show.



The girl was standing in the same metro car as me, and it wasn't very crowded, but it was really hot. I wasn't staring at her so I didn't see if her eyes actually rolled back in her head like Rebecca's, but I did see her fall and watched her head smack against the back metro doors. The train was stopped at the station for about 5extra minutes and even though people could see that somebody had been injured some started whining about why it was taking so long to leave. Finally after the metro emergency people determined it was safe to move the girl after she regained conciousness, they carried her out of the car. I was a little surprise that people were much more concerned with getting home 5 minutes sooner than with a girl cracking her head.

And then about two weeks ago, my friend and I were getting off at a station called Baquedano. On the platform where you wait for the metro to arrive I could hear shouts. But the crowd was just streaming around off to one side and ignoring whatever was going on so I didn't think it was a big deal. When I walked up to where the ruckus was coming from I saw the flash of something shiny. Ummm, ok, stop. IT WAS A KNIFE FIGHT!!!!

It was so weird. Things like that NEVER happen in the metro. In a micro (bus) I'd believe you, but the metro is like the pride and joy of Chile, and they love it because it's much safer than riding a bus.

I wasn't about to walk past these two jokers with weapons so I turned around to go out the in and skedaddled away as fast as I could. The Chileans who were walking by as if it were nothing really surprised me. I mean, the metro platform is not that big so there was probably all of two feet of space separating them from weapon wielding delincuentes. Nobody seemed to think it was a big deal at all. Except me, of course. My heart was pounding after that brush with death!

How to Cross the Street in Style

Yesterday, I saw a woman of Asian heritage walking down the street. Wait, I should actually be more specific, I heard her long before I saw her. She was singing at the top of her lungs. I'm not even sure I know what language she was singing in, at first I thought it was an Asian language but then I might have heard some Spanish thrown in their too and at one point I'm pretty sure she also said something about "my mother, oh my mother." So this multi-lingual tunester was just walking down the street, singing loudly, dressed in a mumu and pointy shoes that looked like slippers. Her hair was up in a bun but there were big chunks of it that wouldn't stay put and they were looooooong, like down past her butt long. So I'm thinking she's crazy, obviously not because of the long hair, but because of the singing. But, I'm thinking she's crazy in a good way because her singing was sort of making me happy and it was obviously making her happy too as she was grinning from ear to ear. Then, she walks out into the middle of the road and crosses without looking (or stopping singing) and almost gets hit by a car. Now, I'm looking at her a little nervously. The first street she walked out onto was not a busy one. But I'm still walking behind her and she's headed straight for Alameda, the busiest street in all of Chile. It's like a highway that goes straight down the middle of the city. She WALKED OUT onto Alameda with oncoming traffic going straight at her. I could not believe it. Cars were screeching to a halt as they slammed on their breaks, a bus almost a hit a car that came to a sudden stop trying not to hit her, people were swerving all over the place to go around her and she wasn't even looking! I looked around to see if anybody else was noticing this crazy lady with an obvious death wish, but nobody was paying attention. Chileans are fantastic at minding their own business, unless of course, you're blond. Anyways, she made it across the street. Well, I actually didn't see her cross the whole thing because it's like once you cross 3 or 4 lanes of traffic that goes one way, there's a bike path down the middle before you get to the 3 lanes that go the other way. So I just saw her get to the bike path. I think she knew that I was shocked and amazed by her behaviour because when she got to solid ground she actually looked over her shoulder and smiled in my general direction, as if to say, "Don't be such a worrywart!"

So from now on, that's how I'm going to cross the street. Pedestrian right of way, what WHAT! And I'm going to sing while doing it. If I don't sing, I have a feeling I'll die.

Oh yeah, and on The Skinny In Chile, I changed the settings so that anyone can post, not just those with a blogger account. My bad, Jayna! I swear, I don't discriminate against people who live in India.

Back In the Game

After months and months of trying to get something photography related going I honestly just gave up. Knowing that there just isn't a market here meant I would be relegated to having a really expensive hobby and would just leave it at that. So for the last two months I stopped trying to advertise my services or find models to let me shoot them for practice, I really just gave up.

And of course, that's when things start to happen. Now that I haven't been putting zero effort into photography 3 things fall into my lap, all at once.

The first, I was contacted by a girl who wants me to possibly do a commercial shoot with models wearing jewelry for her mom's jewelry design company. She had just seen a few of my photos through Seba's sister and emailed me for prices. I gave her prices and sent her a link to my Flickr so we'll see if she likes what she sees and likes what I charge.

The second thing, a girl I knew from high school saw some of my pictures on Facebook and wants to buy some prints. Of course, I said she didn't need to buy them, that I would just give them to her, but she likes supporting local/friend artists so she's willing to pay. So I'm going to sell her some prints at a discounted price and I'm so excited that somebody actually wants my work hanging as "art" on their walls. And I say "art," in quotations marks because if it was really non-quotated art that would make me an artist. And I certainly don't feel like I am.

And third, on the same day as these first two events, a friend of Seba's asked me to shoot her wedding! It's not for another year, but she wanted to check with me now to make sure I'll be able to do it.

I have been DYING to get into the wedding photography business and this is the perfect chance. I know her so I'll be comfortable at her wedding and won't be too nervous, and she's going to have a gorgeous beach wedding so I should get some great shots for my portfolio, plus she's sure to be happy with the shots I take since natural outside light is a thousand times better than indoor light.

So those were three wonderful things that happened all in one day. Just when I gave up hope it seems the signs are there again, telling me to press on with my photography.

And, as always, don't forget to read The Skinny In Chile!

Mmmmm, Reese's.

I haven't been blogging because when I put up an entry I like to respond to everyone who left comments the last time I blogged. And I just haven't had time to do that. When you're busy, something's gotta give and for me that something has been blogging and self portrait picture taking. I didn't take a single SP all last week. I am going to get back into this week, but if it becomes too much of a hassle I think I'll just stop. The point of the project is for it to be enjoyable and challenge me to be creative. But when I'm stressed and feel like it's just one more thing on my to-do list, I'm not creative and I definitely don't enjoy it.

So let's see, what has happened recently that you all need to know about...

My gossip blog boss sent me a package to thank me for helping her out while she was away and I had to take things over. She wanted to send me things that you can't get in Chile, so of course I requested Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. They are MY FAVORITE! I just ate an entire Jumbo sized bag. I think I'm gonna be sick. If this entry just stops suddenly somewhere in the middle it's because I'm vomiting peanut butter and chocolate Christmas tree shaped Reese's into the toilet. God, I love the holidays.

Last night I saved S's life. He was in bed asleep, sleeping peacefully, like a giant baby with a beard. I turned on the light to look for a sweatshirt which I thought was probably strewn somewhere in the bed. The first thing I saw was a GIANT spider. This thing was maybe a little smaller than my fist. It looked poisonous and it was headed straight for S's head! I shooed it so it was heading in the other direction and then woke S. up. He tried to kill it with my flip flops but they were too soft to smoosh. He spent like 5 minutes trying to get the damn thing to die.

We are apartment hunting, but we also finished the paint job upstairs. I'm still so torn on the issue of whether to stay here or not. But, as we have been trying to fix up the apartment upstairs it becomes more and more aparent that it needs a lot of work, time, and money to be put into it. And we both kind of feel like, why would e invest money to live here where we're both going batshit crazy, when we could pay the same amount to rent somewhere nicer (albeit, much smaller), in a better neighborhood, far, far away from the in-laws.

You know most of the times people say there are things you just can't put a price on, but that's just not true. I know the cost of my sanity. It's approximately $500 a month, the amount of rent money we'll need to live in somewhere far enough from here where relatives can not just drop in whenever they feel like under the pretense of cleaning.

S. started his new job on Monday. Only two days into it and they're already behind. Hmm, this doesn't bode well. So from the get-go he is working longer hours than what the company said his schedule would be. But, they also did say that those hours were contingent upon construction being completed on time.

And that's about all I have to say. Aside from being busy, I've also felt very boring and haven't known what to write about...any suggestions?

K. Racine

I was so incredibly excited to get an email from a friend with this picture attached. My name is Kyle Racine so I think it's pretty fricken sweet that there is a sign in Wisconsin that says K. Racine. I've been to Racine, WI before since my mom has relatives there and that's how I got my middle name, but I never saw a sign with my first initial too!

Aside from the fact that it's just awesome that a street sign with my name on it exists, it feels good to know that someone remembers me.

I think the hardest part of being an expat is being away from your friends and family and that lingering feeling that some, a lot of them are slowly forgetting you. When you leave your hometown you know that life will go on without you but at the same time, it's still a punch in the gut when you get those pictures from that first wedding you couldn't attend. And I'm sure in a few years the kids will start to arrive and it will be even harder not to be there for that huge event in the lives of people that were very important to me when I was younger.

As an expat you send emails to friends when you feel lonely and you don't always get a response. The truth is that nobody really understands what it's like living in a foreign country permanently unless they've done it themselves. Logically you know if people don't respond, it's not because they don't love you but because they are busy. It happens to me too, this week I haven't answered a single email because of lack of time. But in your heart you just are hoping that your friends miss you like you miss them. They probably don't though, because when you move abroad you leave them all behind and you have nobody familiar. But they all still have each other, they aren't alone like you are.

And the people that you do end up keeping in touch with are sometimes really surprising. Like my friend who sent me the email with this photo...were we best of friends in high school? No, we were friendly acquaintances who hung out in the same group. But since I've been away we've kept in touch more than I have with some people who were my "best friends" in high school. When I brought S. back to the U.S. my friend who sent me this picture took more time than anybody else to get to know S. and showed him the one event that S. still talks about to this day...his visit to the fire station. It was one of the big highlights of the S. Comes to the U.S. tour.

I'm really grateful for people who make the effort to stay in touch because I know how hard it is.

Thank you :)

Mi Familia

My family is coming down in a little over a month...and I can't wait!!! My mom, brother, stepdad, stepbrother and stepsister will all be making the trek down to see me over Christmas time.

I have to admit that I was kind of surprised to hear they were all coming. I originally asked my mom if I paid for half her ticket, could she make the visit because I really wanted some company here with me over the holidays. I would've offered to pay for everybody else's tickets too but unfortunately we don't have a money tree growing in our patio.This will be my fourth Christmas in Chile and while I love S.'s family, I love mine more (which, by the way, if I lived next door to my family in the U.S. I'd probably love S's family more :P ). S. doesn't care at all where we are for Christmas, he's not as family oriented as I am. Circumstances have always dictated that we are in Chile, not the typical couples fight over whose in-laws deserve a visit the most.

But, having people come visit does stress me out. I'll admit it. I don't like being a hostess. That feeling of being responsible for everybody's happiness is a big burden and I'm never sure if I'll be able to pull it off! Fortunately for me, we have decided that while the fam is here we'll take a trip to Pucon, in the south of Chile and climb one of the active volcanoes that's down there. I feel good about that. A live volcano never disappoints. The trip up is about a 4-5 hour hike. It's like being on a stairmaster the whole time. I didn't struggle too much last time I went but the day after I could barely walk. I needed assistance just to sit down on the toilet!

So that's what is on my mind these days...I'm excited to spend Christmas with mi familia :)

My Rights

Yesterday, I was sitting outside tanning myself. And by tanning I mean, first I bathed myself in SPF 60 since I'm not big on skin cancer, then I put on my bathing suit, went outside, sat in a chair for 5 minutes in the sun and then started crying because I was too hot. That's how I roll. Anyways, what I was really doing was trying to gear myself up for my daily run. It's a mental battle. And I don't mean getting myself to exercise. Fortunately for me I really like exercising. The hard part is just going out on the streets here where I know I'm going to get harassed. It's annoying and after two and a half years it's gotten old.

Fortunately I have a few rights.

If I am walking down the street minding my own business and you scream something obscene at me, I have the right to cuss you out.

I always walk with my hat almost totally covering my eyes and headphones in so I can't hear most of the comments thrown my way but a few weeks ago I was walking and there was a guy a few feet ahead of me who purposely put himself in my path and started making lewd gestures and was trying harder than most to get my attention. I turned off my headphones so I could hear whatever he had to say and respond to him. When I got closer he sneered, "aaah, si, m'hijita rica." I responded, "viejo culiado asqueroso." A loose translation of our conversation would be that he called med something like "hot mama," and I told him he was a "fucking digusting old man." It was really just the gestures that set me off and made me feel like I needed to retaliate.

Anyways, he flipped out when I said that. I guess he didn't like it when the tables were turned. He started screaming at me telling me I needed to learn some respect and calling me a slut, "Asi no me puedes faltar respeto maraca culiada!!!" etc. So of course that got me going even more, "Eres tu, el que anda joteando a las minas en la calle, haciendo gestos obsecenos y portantandote como un nino caliente de 14 anos...y TU me quieres hablar a MI del respeto??? Loco culiado, ojala que se muera pronto toda tu generacion machista." That means something like, "You're the one who's harassing girls on the street, making obscene gestures and acting like a horny 14 year old boy...and YOU want to talk to ME about respect? Fucking crazy, I hope your whole macho generation dies off soon." Of course, by that point he wasn't even listening to me anymore because he was still screaming and so was I, so it was a pretty pointless conversation. I crossed the street and went into my park and when I left I made sure he wasn't there before I walked home.

So anyways, the point is, if you're a guy and you say something gross to me I have the right to say whatever the fuck I want to you in retaliation. If you want to talk to me about respect...fuck off.

And my other right has to do more with the women of the country. If you are walking down the middle of the sidewalk and you have two feet of room on both sides, but you don't move to either side to let me pass, no, I won't step onto the grass to let you pass either. If you're walking down the middle and you don't move I will bump into you and throw a little shoulder check into it. Then don't turn around and give me the stink eye...bitch, you're the one trying to take up all 5 feet of sidewalk. Learn how to share. I have a right to the sidewalk too and I will claim that right even if you're walking straight down the middle.

Oddly enough, it's only the women who do that. S. says that it's just something that Chilean women have always done, they won't move out of the way for anyone even if they have space. So I can play their game too.

I have to put myself into aggressive mode before I go out every day. I don't like it. Although it may make for good adrenaline when I run, I'd rather have my run be one of the relaxing parts of my day. Unfortunately that seems impossible here. Last week I was in the middle of the street, waiting on the median to cross and somebody threw a cup of water in my face as he drove by and screamed, "Griiiiiiiiiiiingaaaaaaaaaaaa." That was just fantastic because I love running when my shirt is soaking wet. It was just like in the Weather Man where people throw things out their cars at Nicholas Cage. I didn't even move or react though because I figured if I did then the perpetrator would think it was a funny prank and might do it again to somebody else.

So those are some of my frustrations in this country. I just wish I could blend in and be able to go places tranquilamente.

News

I started a new diet/fitness/health/celebrity weight loss topics blog. It's called The Skinny in Chile. I'm really excited about it so you should check it out!

Also, Chileno is in the running for some web award so you can help him by voting every day here.

And in other news...I can. not. stop. playing. this. game. Seriously, word games are so addictive, they should be banned from the internet like gambling because otherwise people like me get sucked in and can't do their real jobs. But at least Free Rice is for a good cause. Go play now, thank me later.

So Much Me

After I vowed I would stop doing this and start uploading the pictures as I take them...here I am again uploading an entire week's worth of self portraits. This 365 days challenge is turning out to be SO much harder than I thought!



Day 52:
This is from last week when S. and I went out to eat and shopping. I now totally feel the pain of every celebrity who has the wind lift and blow her shirt a little bit and then reads BABY BUMP!!!! the next day on every tabloid. I look totally pregnant here, but rest assured, I am not.



Day 53:
What's the fastest way to get a woman naked? Put a scale in the room!



Day 54:
Me in the mirror. The most boring kind of self portrait there is. Sorry, es lo que hay.



Day 55:
Do you love my cow bowl??? Because I LOVE it. Oh yeah, that, and popcorn!



Day 56:
Met up with an old friend the other day. He told me I looked great and that I seemed much more mature and confident than the last time we had seen each other. That made the blisters all over my feet from my new heels totally worth it. Beauty is pain.



Day 57:
That's my shadow. Shut up, it counts as a self portrait. Are you starting to wonder why there are so many sp's from this week without my face in them? I have been so broken out and while I'm waaaay too lazy to Photoshop out all the blemishes, I'm also waaaaaay too vain too actually let you see me looking fugly. Yep, I said it, I'm vain. Extremely.



Day 58:
A windy day in the garden, my favorite part of our house.



Day 59:
I'm proud to say I didn't have to Photoshop those onto me...my abs are making a comeback! God, I love exercise! I want my 2-pack back and I won't stop until I get it :) You should also know that for this picture I cropped my head out because in order to make a muscle and suck my stomach in as far as it would possibly go I need to look completely constipated.

Peloton!!!

Call me crazy but I am thinking about trying out for a Chilean reality show next year. It's called Peloton, which means Squadron (I think-I'm not gonna like, I'm not great at translating military terminology). The premise is sort of like Survivor except they're not on an island. A group of kids is sent to this big farm/ranch house outside of Santiago. Once they get there, they are divided up into teams and the teams compete against each other every week. Before they go into competition each team has to nominate one member of their squad who would be the nominee for the elimination challenge were that team to lose. Then the public votes for another nominee to go to the elimination challenge, and everyone in the house votes in a Codigo de Honor, or Honor Code vote for the third nominee. The three elimination challenge nominees compete against each other and a loser is eliminated every week.

I want to be on this show SO BAD!!! Not because the prize money is that amazing (although, hey, who wouldn't be happy with an extra $20,000 extra bucks in their pocket), but because the challenges and competitions look so fun!!!! They do all these crazy obstacle courses, the other day the elimination nominees had to run around the ledge of a 15 story building, just all sorts of cool stuff like that. It seems right up my alley :) Plus, I look at some (ok, most) of the girls that are on the show right now and they are SUCH wimps! There is this one girl who faints constantly, another one who can only run for like 2 minutes at a time before she wants to die, another girl just cries about everything. Pick me, producers, pick me! I'm not scared! Although, maybe that's the idea, they have girls that create drama and kick up a fuss about everything. I suppose that might draw in ratings.

If I did go, I'm almost certain that I'd get voted by the public to be the elimination nominee every time. I'm sure Chileans absolutely do not want someone to win their reality show, who isn't, well, Chilean.

Anyways, auditions aren't until this season is over, so that's like next March. I've got plenty of time to get ready :)