Quickies

Quick update, just so you know I haven't died and gone to Patagonia.

Random happenings
*We went to Dunkin Donuts on Saturday and they were all out of....donuts! How is that even possible?
*On Friday I went to the gym. I was happily working out, jogging on the treadmill with my iPod on, oblivious to everything around me. All of a sudden I hear someone shouting, "Oye, oye, Kyle!" I turn around and my trainer, plus all 5 of his little trainer friends were standing behind me cracking up. My hair was standing like a foot up off my head because of the static. I didn't even bother to try and fix it, I just told them it was the new Gringa style and kept running.
*I got the new Skype plan ($9.95 a month for unlimited international phone calls). That means I've been calling my mom at least 4 times a day. She used to complain that we didn't get the chance to talk enough, but now she doesn't answer my calls when she sees my number show up...again.
*I found an old friend's blog (Hey Nashy!). I won't link to it because I'm not sure if she wants random people reading it, but I will say this. Her son is SO cute. I showed the picture to S. and said, "Look at him, doesn't that just make you want to have babies right now?" Needless to say, S. ran screaming out the door and didn't look back :P

Goals reached
*I forgot to mention this earlier in the month, but in the beginning of April we surpassed our quarter of the way there financial mark in our savings for our year long trip around the world...and that's even after we increased our original figure to more. By the end of May we'll be almost halfway there!
*I also made a personal goal a while back to earn as much or more than my husband. I'm happy to announce that this month I more than tripled his salary. That's what I'm talking about!
*I'm going to be on Chilean TV. Well, actually that wasn't a goal. I had thought about doing the reality show Peloton and then forgot about it. But, if you even remember reading about that, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm doing a focus group on, "Como Somos Los Chilenos?" or "What are we (Chileans) like?" They're taping it and putting it on some morning show on national television. They asked me to be the critical perspective. Oh jeez, I just can't wait to give the people in this country another reason to hate me.

El Rey de la Casa

"El rey de la casa," or "King of the house," is what my S.'s grandma called him when he was a little boy. Irma would have his sister bring him trays of his food, she would cook his favorite meals and make his bed while he was at school. If his shoe was untied she even though she was old and decrepit, she would bend down and do it for him.

Fortunately, she didn't live with his family for very long so the extreme machismo didn't quite stick, but to a lesser extent it's still perpetuated within S.'s family. His mom heats his dad's dinner when they both arrive home from work (and they work the same hours at the same job, mind you) and then serves it to him on a tray in bed. The dad has washed maybe 2 plates in the 3 years I've known him. And keep in mind that when I say washed, I mean just quickly rinsed, and if it looked clean enough left it somewhere to dry, for someone else to put away.

This all is really funny to me, because on one hand, the mom speaks very blatantly about feminism and what she believes and what she wants for her children. But, at the same time, she doesn't realize that she's practicing the opposite of what she preaches in her home. By she continues to exonerate the dad of all possible household responsibilities, while doing everything herself (and with the help of a nana, of course, like many lucky Chilean women).

And the mom, while she is the one with all the good ideas about what to do with the house and any business ideas that she might have, all must be approved by the dad, who will sometimes just veto her without even listening to the argument.

I feel really lucky that S. somehow managed to escape the death trap of machismo and doesn't mind sharing cooking and cleaning duty. He's exceptionally uncaring about the fact that his wife far out earns him and seems to like making major decisions together. And when we are parents we're planning on S. being a stay at home dad.

Maybe it's just the fact that he's part of a younger generation that have given him a broader concept of a partnership than the way his parents see it. Either way, it's a good thing, because I would not have married him if he wasn't the way he is.

Yet, I'm never failed to be reminded of the S.'s background. Last week when he had to stop by his parents' house to pick up the car, he was immediately ushered in to eat some of his favorite desserts, specially prepared for the Rey de la Casa's visit :)

Photography Update

http://kyleheppphotography.wordpress.com/

As if I needed another place to write, I made myself a photography blog. I had a session today, I really wanted to post it so the clients could see, but I didn't want to bore you guys with my pictures if you read this blog more for information on Chile, than for the photo update of a couple you don't know. So there's the link if you're interested :)

New Haircut

I chopped my hair off, what do you think?

The lady at the salon was quite excited by my blondness. When I sat down at the chair she called other the other stylists around to come pet my head. They were like, "oooooh, aaaaaaaah, tan rubia!" Again, this is not the first time in Chile when I've thought to myself, "You'd seriously think these people had never seen a blond person before."

The woman who cut my hair was freaking hilarious. Let me set the scene for you. She was about 100 years old and kept squinting as if she could barely see. When she asked what kind of hair cut I wanted and I said short, she told to me hold on for a second and then came book with a book of "cute and modern short hair cuts." The book was full of pictures from back in the day when Tara Reid was still cute and Britney Spears' hair looked like this. Those were my options. Yeah, normal people probably would have asked for somebody else but I just care way too little.

The lady did her thang, and fortunately, it turned out surprisingly well. As she began the styling process she started showing me what I could do with it. I kid you not, she said, "These are your options. You can tuck it behind your ears." And then she demonstrated how to tuck it behind my ears just in case I didn't know. She continued, "Or you can not tuck it behind your ears, like this." She then parted my hair on the left, the middle and the right, each time pausing to make sure I understood how to do that. Cutting my hair actually took all of a 15 minutes. Showing me how to let my hair fall to it's natural part, tuck it behind my ears and how to flip it out or under with step by step instructions took at least another half an hour. What can I say, old Chilean hairdressers like to cover their bases.

Death By Blogging

For some reason, people tend to think that blogging is some really glamorous job. They have this idea that we sit around sipping umbrella'ed cocktails at the pool, with our computer next to us, uploading the occasional story when we feel like it.

I'm not going to lie, I probably play into that stereotype. When someone stops by my apartment to ask me out for lunch, or to go to Happy Hour, or to meet for coffee, I rarely say no. That really is the beauty of this job...I can work whenever I feel like it. I do sort of take the general attitude, "Oh, who needs to work when I can hang out with friends!"

But, I think what people don't realize, is that when I go out during the day, that same night I'll stay up until 4 am working on stories for the next day. No matter how much I play, I still make sure to get my work done. Honestly, it takes a ton of self-discipline, and has definitely been a growing experience for me. No one is sitting in the office next door waiting for me to show up at work on time. No one is hanging over my shoulder telling me, "Kyle, you have to write 20 stories today!" I can write them if I want, or I can not write them (and not make any money).

The New York Times just wrote an article on two bloggers who wrote until they dropped, literally, of heart attacks. My favorite quote from the article was,

"This is the digital-era sweatshop."

The focus of the article are the long hours and low pay. Fortunately for me, I only have to deal with the long hours. I definitely feel that I'm fairly compensated for my work. I'm actually a little outside the payscale that they say is the average. It seems like nobody has a lot of cold hard facts on blogging since the pay scale they gave didn't really seem right to me. They also said the number of people blogging for a living ranges from the thousands to the tens of thousands. That's a pretty huge range.

So yeah, blogging might seem like the coolest job in the world, and it probably is, but if you're considering trying to make a career off of it, just know that it can get pretty stressful. Writing about celebrities and style might sounds like a piece of cake, but just imagine trying to be clever, witty and entertaining, 20 posts a day! I'm telling you, it's draining.

That being said, I wouldn't trade my job for anything in the world. I love to write and I love the freedom. On that note, I'm off to the gym in the middle of the day because I don't feel like working right now. I'll do it later :)

Read the full article on the stresses of blogging here.

Hot chemistry

Last night we had our first get together with the little community of young, awesome, gringa expats living in Santiago. Of course the husbands tagged along too.

It was one of those nights where everything just sort of clicks. You know what I mean...when the group chemistry is just so good and there's never an awkward silence or worrying about where to go and what to do next. The first part of the get together was up on our apartment building's roof top pool/party/asado area. Since we were sort of hosting I was freaking out a little bit beforehand. Having people over who don't all know each other can be stressful because if they don't get along I feel responsible and I feel like I have to facilitate conversation between them, but last night definitely wasn't like that.

So the original plan was to meet up at our place and then move the party on over to Opera Catedral. I had the brilliant idea to go to that bar because I saw it on the Travel Channel as one of the top 5 bars in all of Latin America (#2, I believe). Well, at 11:22pm we remembered that there's no cover only until midnight. After that men pay approximately $12 dollars and women pay around $8. That's way too much, especially when it doesn't even include a drink, so we tried to wrangle the whole big group off the roof and outside to go get a taxi to the bar, hoping to make it in time and not have to pay. Of course, with a group of about 15 people, it's not easy getting everyone to move. First we gathered up everything on the roof and brought it down to our apartment. Then it seemed like every single person at the party had to go to the bathroom. Finally at 11:56pm we were outside hailing a cab and climbing on in.

Yes! We were pretty sure we were going to make it...until we realized none of us knew the exact address or how to get there. Also, the cab driver thought he knew what we were talking about, but he didn't seem very sure of himself. His response when we asked him about it was, "Yaaaaa, I thiiiiiink it's on the corner of Merced....maaaaybe." Not very confidence inspiring. But, since we didn't know either, we just went with the cabbies instinct. He got us there at 11:59pm, we ran in, didn't have to pay, and didn't turn into pumpkins either.

Entering the bar we were greeted with a rather shocking sight...fashionably dressed Chileans! Under normal circumstances at any bar in all of Santiago you can spot at least one of the following:

• A mullet
• Several fanny packs
• A female mullet
• Cameltoes
• Severe muffin top
• Random rat's tails coming out from any given point on a man's head, behind the ear, middle of the back of the skull, wherever.
  
• MC Hammer pants
• Tight fake satin pants, see picture below. Chilean women LOVE these pants.
  

Opera Catedral is obviously frequented by cuicos, which is Chilean for rich, snobby, upper class. I didn't see a single cameltoe, because rich girls can probably afford to go to other countries to find clothes that fit.

Cameltoe talk aside, the bar was packed when we walked in. We checked out the upper and lower area and there was no place to sit. Our big group hovered next to the bar for a little while but it was hot and the music was a little too loud. We made the move to their upstairs outdoor patio. Apparently there was a waiting list for tables that I didn't know about, but literally right as we walked up a large group of people were getting up to leave. I just sat down and we grabbed the table. Nobody said anything about a waiting list until much later in the night.

Anyways, even though we had a great night, I definitely don't think it deserves the distinction of being one of the best bars in Latin America. I was definitely disappointed. I mean, if a place is on the Travel Channel, wouldn't you think there'd be something special about it? I was expecting the chairs to be made out of gold and to see famous Chilean people or something. And at the very least I was expecting not to hear crappy 80's music and get crappy service like at every other bar in this country. But, Opera Catedral was a let down. The waiter ignored us for a good 20 minutes before taking our order. We eventually had to hunt him down and forced him to take our order...in a very polite and nice way I might add.

And the music, oh the music. Let's just say that amongst other classics, we were treated to Billie Jean, Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) and so many more oldies but goodies. Of all the crappy music that's imported from the U.S. I just don't understand why every single bar in this country refuses to at least play the new crappy music in English, or even new crappy music in Spanish. Whatever, I'm not picky, I'm just sick of always hearing the same stuff everywhere. I can only take Welcome to the Jungle so many times in one lifetime.

Cutting the Cord

Today S. and I had lunch with my mother in law. She was actually just going to come over to pick up her birthday gift, but I called the night before to confirm what time she was coming and she said, "I've been wanting to call you two for the last week, but I haven't. I'm trying to give you your space." So I thought she should be rewarded for good behavior and decided to invite her out for lunch.

Anyways, we got to talking about S.'s older sister who is 29 and lives at the parents' home. She has never lived anywhere else. My mother in law mentioned that soon, it's going to be about time to "cut the cord."

I was actually shocked to hear those words come out of her mouth. In Chile it's pretty common to live with your parents for forever and ever and ever, and never leave. Ok, so that's a bit of an over exaggeration. But, in all honesty, if a man here mentions that he's 33 and still shacking up with with mommy, nobody even blinks an eye. Of course, being the macho culture that this is, if it's a woman at the age who lives at home unmarried, everyone thinks there's something wrong her. But they think there's something wrong with her not because she still lives at home, but because she hasn't convinced a man to marry her yet.

In the U.S. we generally leave the house at age 18, give or take a year or two, and we go live in college dorms. It's a like a transition to ease us into real life living on our own. Chilean people would have you believe that U.S. parents kick their children (who are just babies and not ready to be on their own, according to them) out of the house so young because we "don't believe in family," and we're a "cold culture." I've actually found the opposite to be true. To me Chilean society has it all backwards. Parents in the U.S. get the kids out of the house so they can prepare themselves to be adults. They want their kids to grow up because they love them and want to see them succeed standing on their own two feet.

Here families are forced to live in such close quarters that a lot of times they end up hating each other. There's such a sense of obligation here to let your kids stay until they want to leave, to take care of your unmarried sister and your aging mother, and if they live anywhere but under your roof, your obviously a cold hearted bitch who doesn't care about family. They forget about the whole idea that you might actually appreciate a person a lot more if you both have your own space.

Unfortunately, aside from obligation, it's also a necessity. Part time jobs here don't pay enough to be able to support yourself and live on your own. Plus part time is like 30 hours a week, and Chilean university is much more vigorous than most U.S. universities. So trying to study and work is pretty much impossible. S.'s friend got the genius idea to try and work part time at Blockbuster for one semester.

That semester he failed every class but one, and he still didn't have enough money to move out.

And then, the fact that parents expect their kids to live with them until they're in their late 20's, early 30's, means that Chilean young adults, are basically giant babies without diapers. And I totally blame the parents. I have lived now, with four different Chilean families and in each household the mother and father absolutely coddled the children. And I mean, breakfast in bed, no chores for their poor babies who work so hard at studying, oh, and you don't have any money to go out partying, here I'll spot you 20, forget the fact that we're thousands of dollars in debt already.

So as most Chileans tell me..."Why I move out of my house? I have it good!"

I know some kids in the U.S. like that, but they seem to be the exception to the rule, rather than the rule.

Sometimes this makes me feel older than my husband. He's just always so surprised by the realities of living alone, because up until now his parents took care of everything for him. But, he's learning, slowly but surely. And besides, who am I to talk? My mom still does my taxes for me!