To Provoke or Not to Provoke

The catcalls, the hissing, the blowing kisses, the marriage proposals...Gringas and Chilenas alike are tortured on the streets by the macho little boys who think women are nothing more than pieces of meat for them to oggle.


There have actually been debates though, in respected newspapers in this country on whether or not the harassment on the street is harmless. In the comment section, when El Mercurio, I believe it was, wrote an article, many women even commented on how they love the "piropos," and all women should just enjoy them while they're still getting them. Honestly, that attitude makes me feel a little sick inside. But, moving on, whether they're Ok or not isn't actually the topic I wanted to discuss.


What I wanted to talk about is when it's appropriate to respond. Emily, as many of you already know, was robbed. This has made her slightly angrier and much more untrusting of this country in general...which in turn has her yelling back insults at any guy who dares make a creepy remark in her direction. Understandable.


This is something I do on occassion as well. No, I don't respond back to every man who has the nerve to say something slimy, but depending on my mood, who I'm with, and where I am, I often feel the need to tell the guy off too. This has caused me problems a few times, like once when I retaliated to a guy making obscene gestures, we got into a yelling fight on the street and I told him I wanted his entire generation to die.


Some of our other friends say they never do this. One doesn't live in the best neighborhood and is worried she'll get into problems too. Another just wears her earphones everywhere she goes, which for the most part, I now do too.



Sometimes, I feel really good after I let a dirtbag have it. And other times I wonder if all that rage is unhealthy. In all honesty I know that one gringa saying, "Fuck off you dirty old man," doesn't change much in the grand scheme of things. But, not saying anything ever feels wrong!


When we all got to talking about it, I was actually surprised by most of my girlfriends' responses. I assumed that all gringas who know enough Spanish to retaliate, do. Turns out, the ones I know usually don't.


So what are your thoughts on this? To respond, or not to respond, that is the question of the day...

Spring Is In the Air

A few nights ago I walked outside and the weather was downright balmy -- which is not an adjective frequently heard when describing Santiago. If I had closed my eyes and not breathed (as soon as you take a gulp of fresh air the smog definitely let's you know right where you are) I could have sworn that I was in Tampa on a winter evening.


Lately I've been missing Tampa a LOT -- although never in the, "I want to move back there," way. Just in the, "I wish we weren't saving all our money and I wasn't petrified of flying so I could go back and visit more," way.


If there is one downfall of being an expat, it's that you will always be missing somewhere or something. That doesn't mean you're homesick and crying yourself to sleep every night. It just means that places you've previously inhabited and people that you used to know still live on inside you.


If you're an expat, whether you're leaving or arriving "home," (and when you're an expat the definition of the word home is definitely murky) you're most likely saying goodbye to someone important in your life -- whether it be your husband's family because you're leaving his home, your own family and friends because you're leaving the country you were born in, or maybe just friends you have made in a random place you've chosen to set up residency. You're always leaving behind loved ones and cities with memories whether you're coming or going. Goodbye is no longer just a word, it's now the inevitable.



PS. Don't forget to vote. The topics have been narrowed down with a first round of votes and now we're doing the second round to decide what we'll actually write about for our next group blogging experiment a week from today!

Time to Vote (Again)

Ok, the choices have been narrowed down so go ahead and vote for whatever you want to write about (or want to see us write about) next Friday.



Also, the lovely Florencia just did a very interesting post on Chilean weddings, if you want to check it out...and hopefully she'll be able to participate in our group blogging topic for next Friday. It's always good to hear the Chilean perspective on what we're talking abotu!

A Patriot and an Expatriate

With the Olympic games coming to a close and Michelle Obama's incredibly moving speech at the Democratic Convention (watched it today, cried like a baby...see if you can resist doing the same) U.S. patriotism is in the air.


Jayna just posted on why she loves the Oh-lympics -- because the contingent of athletes shows off just how diverse a nation we truly are. I couldn't agree more. That's definitely an aspect of my country that I really ache for sometimes.


One day while watching the Games, S. tried to get me riled up and started heckling me because the U.S. was behind in the medal count. I snidely replied, "Four little words, baby. Michael mother-effing Phelps. We don't need anybody else...BOO YA!"


Ok, so maybe the "BOO YA," at the end was a little unnecessary. Out pops my U.S.A.'ian arrogance -- or is it sense of pride? The two are easily confused, or maybe interchangeable.


Don't get me wrong, the stereotype of the arrogant American bastard is very much alive and kicking, and I hate it. But, I do long for that certain je ne sais quoi that many people from my country seem to have. My mom would probably call it a "can do attitude." It's a sense of you-just-can't-get-us-down.


Some might call it a superiority complex, and when done wrong, I think that's exactly what it is. But in most people, I believe it's more of a sense of optimism than anything else.


I love that about "mi gente," and I miss it.

Next Group Blogging Post

Alright, time to vote on the next group blogging post, which will be, not this Friday, next. I would like to vote and choose the topic now so I can start thinking about my post. Unlike some of you, I can't just whip something up at the last minute. I'm a nerd and my blogging is all carefully calculated. :)


This list is pretty long so maybe we can use this poll to narrow it down to three or four topics and then do another poll to choose between those. Also, obviously we can continue group blogging for as long as everybody still likes the idea so I think we'll have plenty of time to get to most of these topics!


If for some reason I didn't put your topic in there, I'm sorry. I'll have to put them in the poll for next time. I may have missed a few because topic suggestions were spread out in the comments over quite a few posts. Also if the topic says, Chilean something, feel free to substitute Ecuadorian something or U.S. something or whatever to relate the topic you're living so you can participate from anywhere!


Please vote for only topic even though I think it allows you to choose multiple answers. I'm technologically retarded and couldn't figure out how to change that.

Why I Love Having A Papito

There are a lot of reason why I really love having a Papito but so far here are a few that top my list.

• The other day while I was out walking her, a couple stopped to ask me for directions. MISTAAAAAAAAKE, never ask the blond girl, people! I had no idea. But what I did have was a big full of hot steaming poop. It's always fun to talk to people when you're carrying around shit.

• I love projecting all the repressed anger I have built up at my parents for saddling me with the boy's name, Kyle, onto my dog by calling her Little Daddy in Spanish.

• Speaking of how awesome her name is, I really enjoy that calling her Papito gives me a reason to walk around the streets of Santiago singing "Papi, Papiiii, Papi Chulo, Papi Papi Papi, ven a mi!"

• Because being covered in dog hair is the new black this season. Fur is IN!

• It's simultaneously sweet and repulsive when she licks my face with her doggy breath. I love the girl but we seriously need to buy her some Altoids or something because it smells like something dead is rotting inside inside her mouth.

• Even when I reason with her and ask her to wait at the apartment just 10 minutes while I go buy something from the supermarket, she still cries at the door when I leave. It breaks my heart, but I can't take her with me because I can't leave her tied outside while I run in like a lot of people do with their dogs -- Papi will chew through her leash in a heartbeat, wander away and most likely end up dodging oncoming traffic because she's really not the street dog she's cracked up to be. She apparently never learned that speeding cars + puppy in the middle of the road = death. But hey, if you can dodge traffic, you can dodge balls, right?

• When big dogs come to try and eat Papito while we're out on her walk, I pick her up to try and protect her. The last time a giant angry puppy came our way he started growling at her. I picked her up and she was so scared she tried to scale my body like a totem pole. She stepped on the collar of my shirt, pulling it all the way down. We were next to a playground. I flashed like three little kids under the age of 4. Whoops! Hope they've had the birds and the bees talk already.

Also, the other thing I wanted to talk about on this post, was our great group blogging topic on Friday. What did you guys think? My thoughts were that I absolutely loved reading the posts. I liked leaving the topic quite broad because it was fun to see where everybody took it. I think it's a good way for all of us to see other people's perspectives on one subject. I even internet met some new Chile bloggers, so that was exciting, plus it was a good way for all of us to share traffic and give each other lots of link love.

So what's next? Would you be interested in doing this again (or for those of you who didn't partake in the fun, ever)? If so, how often would you want to do it...once a week, once a month? A few suggestions for more topics were: Chilean women, favorite vacation spots in Chile and favorite spots to eat or go out in Chile. Leave some feedback and let me know what you think about the whole group blogging thing.

Happy Birthday Emily!!!

Today is Emily's birthday! Although, given the circumstances, saying the words, "Happy Birthday," doesn't feel quite appropriate. Emily's entire apartment was burglarized last night. To say she's having a rough day would be an understatement. So please, go and leave her some love and support.


I want to weigh in on the subject. This is the third gringa I know who has had her apartment targeted, where it seems too calculated to be random. The first was definitely an inside job, as her building has several locked gates and doors. She had deadbolts and all kinds of locks on her door but it was hatcheted down, and the neighbors said, "We didn't hear a thing." The second, I know very little about, as the girl was a friend of a friend, but it was a similar situation, also in a building with no doorman, but with gates and locks, so someone would have had to have a key to get the thieves in. Her door was forced though, as she didn't have any extra security locks. Again, just like in the first robbery, she was the only apartment robbed in her whole building. In both situations someone obviously knew where the gringas lived and figured they would have more valuables, so they were targeted. In Emily's situation, as there have been three other instances of apartments being broken into recently, she may or may not have been targeted for bring a gringa. Or maybe it was just random who knows.


This makes me so furious. Furious doesn't even begin to describe it, actually. I HATE that gringas are targeted because we are all assumed to be rich. Some gringas may be rich. So are some Chileans. But, a lot of us are living in this country, working alongside Chileans, making the same miserable salaries as the Chileans, or our husbands are making the same miserable Chilean salaries.


I won't get into the social aspects of people who steal. Yes, I do understand that circumstances drive people to rob. Yes, I (sort of) understand that some people were never taught that stealing as wrong, they were taught that stealing is a way of life. I know not everybody was born with the same opportunities. That is absolutely no excuse.


Theft is always unfair. Taking away possessions that other people have worked for is unfair. At least if it's random you know it was just bad luck and it could have happened to anybody. But, to know that because of the country you're from, you must be rich and therefore little flaite Chileans seem to feel that they have a right to rob you is outrageously infuriating.



PS. If you still want to partcipate in the Chilean Men group blogging topic, go for it. Just leave me a comment on the post and I'll put your link up!

Chilean Men

We are trying a little something new and are doing a group blogging session on one topic. This week we're writing about Chilean men. Here is a list of links of those who have participated so far -- leave me a comment if you already posted and I haven't put your link up yet! I'm not reading these until I write my own post as I don't want to be influenced by what everybody else has to say! I'd rather wait to see if we have similar or very differing opinions on the subject. Oh, and anyone who has anything to say about Chilean men or foreign men in general is welcome to participate.

*Edited to add -- So far I think everyone who has commented has been updated on this list. So read away and let's talk. I have LOVED all these great posts. Everybody took a different angle, but everybody hit the nail on the head. And some of the entries have been absolutely hilarious!

• Katina (style and male sex symbols)
• Mandy (Chilean men compared to U.S. men)
• Tyffanie (catcalls and chivalry)
• Emily (machismo)
• Leigh (having friendships with Chilean men)
• Shannon (Chilean male drivers)
• Clare (Chilean men and sexism)
• Meredith (Chilean men's intense need to be in a relationship)
• Lydia (a completely spot on list of generalizations about Chileans)
• Jessica (guy love in the Chilean form)
• Heather, the girl who started this whole thing (Chilean men and sex...finally someone mentions the cafes con piernas!)
• Tamsin (Chilean men's complete devotion to the female species)
• My mom Rita (her impression of S. as a son in law, his friends, and a few male tour guides)
• Renee (gay Chilean men)

Chilean men. Ahhhh, Chilean men. They are the reason nearly every woman I am close with is in this country. Just last night I saw a blip on the news about a French woman who came to Santiago as a performer in Cirque du Soleil. A group of Chilean was doing a backstage tour and one of them took the time to introduce himself to her. This woman was still in costume and he called her "La payasita mas bella que he visto," or the most beautiful clown he's ever seen. She fell in love in that one second. She stayed. They lived happily ever after. The end.


That seems to be a frequent scenario with Chilean men. They are a special breed of the opposite sex -- in general, much less handsome than the Argentines, way worse dancers than the Venezuelans or Brazilians, not as talented at smooth talking as the Venezuelans* -- yet, so incredibly good at making women fall in love with them.


I'm not just talking about making gringas fall in love with them either. These men know how to get women of any nationality to fall under their charm. Chilenas are just as susceptible as foreigners. It's not just the sweet broken English that gets the ladies swooning. Even their mother's are madly in love with them, and I mean MADLY in love! It's actually kind of creepy sometimes, but in a sweet way. The term "Mama's boy," doesn't even begin to describe the relationship that most guys here I know have with their madres.


Dating a Chilean man, in my personal experience, was sheer heaven compared to going out with American men. Maybe that's because S. is the guy for me and behaved as such from the beginning -- or maybe it's because Chilean men truly know how to treat their significant other -- I'll (hopefully) never know. This strange breed of man, with his mullet and his fanny pack, will soon have you overlooking fashion blunders as he hangs on to your every word, treats you with respect, and opens up to you about his *GASP* feelings.


As anyone who knows S. in the real life has probably realized, he's not a man of many words. In fact, when a friend who knows he's a big dog person wondered why he didn't seem more excited when talking about Papito, obviously the answer is -- he can barely show his love for me in public -- how would he be able to admit he has a soft spot for a dog to someone he doesn't know very well? Yet, although S. and I are not the mushy gushy type by a looooong stretch, he doesn't mince words if he wants to tell me he appreciates me and loves me. If we have a problem he's happy to communicate about his feelings in a way that no man in the States I know ever has or ever will do.


Unlike some gringo guys, he doesn't think that putting actual planning/effort/sentiment into a relationship makes him less of a man. He's happy anytime I'm happy. And from what I hear, all Chileans, or at least all Chileans worth keeping a gringa in Chile for, are like that.


Yes, of course there are certain bad qualities that I've heard Chilean men have. Some are known to be extremely machista -- although I think this is a dying trend, as all the gringas I know are with very progressive men, who are in many cases, like mine, even quite a bit feminist. And then there are the men who catcall. For me piropos are literally the one thing that if eradicated would make living permanently in this country a possibility. But, the fact that not a single day (in which I leave my house, of course) can pass without some old wrinkly jackass who farts dust hissing, "M'hijita rica, ssssssss," in my ear like the biggest fucking creep in the entire world, makes me want to strap a backpack with all my things on it and walk to Antartica where I'll live in an igloo and only leave if the penguins promise not to harass. Again, also like the machista thing, I think this may be generational, as it really does seem to be either very old men, or else younger guys who many times appear to be from a lower social class. It's rare that I'll walk by a university and a dude will say something truly disgusting.


If there's one thing I love about this country, you could definitely say it's the men. Although, maybe I should change that to "the man," since I only have experience with one specific Chilean (after going through hell and back, I was on a bit of a man ban before I met S. I wanted nothing to do with anyone with a penis). But anyways, I married that one specific Chilean so I guess you could say that actions speak louder than anything else I could type in this post.



*Yes, I realize these things do not pertain to every single Chilean -- some are very handsome (my husband, and all of my friends' husbands and boyfriends) some are brilliant dancers (definitely not my husband) and some are great smooth talkers (again, not S.). That's why I said, in general.

Cauliflower

Afterwards, I had cauliflower in my hair, on the floor, everywhere.

Thoughts on Being a Newlywed

I'm making my way through the list of suggested topics from all of you who took the survey. Apparently a lot of you people want S. to be more of a recurring character on the show rather than just a one time guest star. He is a pretty funny guy. Truth be told I could probably do a daily post on ridiculous things he says. But, in general, I try keep our relationship off the blogs because I would never want somebody to google him, somehow find this blog, and use anything that I write against him. After all, he's not the one putting his life online for the world to see. It's my choice, not his. That's why he is referred to S. and not his full name.


And several others suggested that I write more about life as a newlywed. So I guess that goes along with the subject of S. since I wouldn't be a newlywed without him. :)


Truth be told, life as a newlywed isn't that much different than when we were dating, because we were dating with the intention of getting married practically from the beginning. We did marry very young, but both of us were fully aware of what we were getting ourselves into. I've always been a person who knows what I want and knows what's best for myself and S. is the same way. Neither of us had any reservations about marriage.


The first year of marriage was like being on a boat in wicked storm. Our boat almost turned over a time or two but throughout it all we could see a calm horizon waiting for us just over the next wave. And I think that's how we got through it, but knowing that smooth sailing was ahead. We knew that making it through the storm would be worth it. External pressures really put a strain on our relationship that year -- living with S.'s parents, I couldn't find a job, S. was working insanely long hours.


This year all of those external pressures are no longer upon us and plus we're also coming up on 4 years of knowing each other (and being together). This year we understand each other and communicate with each other better than we did the year before, or three years before. I'm not the same person I was 4 years ago, not even close. Neither is he. I think a lot of young marriages may struggle because you change so much as a person at this time in your life. But, S. and I have done a good job in growing together and understanding the changes in the other.


I tied the knot 3 days before I turned 23 and a lot of people said, "You're way too young to get married!" I never thought of that way. To me, meeting the love of my life at such a young age has been an amazing experience. This way we have more years of life to spend together! Being married at this age isn't holding me back from doing anything I want to do. On the contrary, the things I want to do will be enhanced because I'll have my husband at my side while I'm doing them.


I'm still not saying, "I told you so," to the people who told me I shouldn't get married while still in my early twenties. We haven't even been married for two years. It's a little too early to start crowing just yet. And I won't say we'll never get a divorce, because I believe in never say never. You just don't know what life will throw your way. But I will say that S. and I are rock solid. I feel pretty damn good about our chances. :)


This is probably the most I'll ever write directly about my relationship on this blog, unless we have a big fight pertaining to cultural differences or something funny happens to us (and aside from the post I'll be writing on Friday about Chilean men). I'm not a very sentimental person and when I try to write anything about my husband it usually just comes out sounding cheesy. Some people have a knack for writing about their lives and their relationships and making their posts about those topics beautiful and interesting. My knack isn't it that area. If I tried to write every day about S. and our relationship all the posts would read something like,

Woke up. I love S. I missed him while he was at work. We talked on the phone ten times. He came home and I was happy to see him. Then the next day I woke up and guess what. I still love S. And I still missed him while he was at work...

Yeah, you can see where that's going.


So since you guys asked for it, I'll try to mention relationship/S. related things in more posts, but only if they pertain to the topic at hand. If this blog became a written soap opera of the (lack of) drama in my life, it would get pretty boring.


PS. Ok, due to lack of better topics suggested, the topic we are going to group blog on is Chilean men if you want to participate (or foreign men if you're not in Chile and would like to do a post on the a different breed of the male species). I was thinking I'll post my post on Chilean men on here on Friday with links to all your posts. Does that work? If there's a better way to do this feel free to mention it (*ahem, HEATHER -- this whole thing was your idea and we haven't heard one peep out of you!).

FAQ Part III

Why are you so negative about Chile? If you don't like Santiago, why do you stay? You should be more positive in your blog. Why don't you make a list of the things you like about the country?


I'm not negative about Chile, I'm realistic. I'm not staying in Santiago -- we're saving up our money to take our round the world trip that does not end up back in this place. No, I will not make a list of things I like about the country. What am I going to do, fill it with a list of cheap fruits and veggies? I know some people thrive off of the little things, and I'm sure there are a hundred little things that I like about Chile. But, "YAY, I love cheap palta!" does not make up for that fact that a typical work week here is 50 hours + another 10 hours spent in transportation and I barely see my husband. "Mmmm, Sahne Nuss is my favorite chocolate in the world,"* doesn't change the fact that the Chilean culture is a pessimistic one that has a way of getting me down. I have already written a post that addresses this, but I don't like living here and I absolutely do not apologize for that.


I've made the best out of the situation and don't get me wrong, I love my life. But, in general, the city of Santiago and the country of Chile do very little to enhance it. I don't fault Chile for that. It's not that this country's fault that we're not a good fit. We're just not. This is one of those, "It's not you, it's me," things, which is why I'm soon getting out of a bad relationship. I'm sure I'll miss certain parts of my life here aside from the biggies -- family and friends -- but right now I'm looking ahead. I won't say we'll never be back here at some point in time, but at the moment this is not where S. and I see ourselves (and yes, he is just as anxious to get moving and get out as I am).



*I know some of you had these on your Why I Love Chile lists and I hope you realize I didn't choose those as examples to poke fun. If I made a list those are actually things I would put on it.


PS. Several of you suggested that Chilean men (or foreign men for those people who want to participate in the topic writing) is too broad of a theme. Feel free to make other suggestions. If nobody comes up with anything -- Chilean men it is. I actually like the idea of keeping the theme really broad, because I'm interested to see which direction people will take the subject. I think it will be boring if we all write on exactly the same topic. However, if the masses want a specific subject we should go for it. Just come up with one and decide in the comments!

The Eternal Family Lunch

I apologize in advance for any typos that may be made in this entry. I'm writing on three glasses of champagne and raspberry, plus watching season 4 of Sex and the City while typing.


My sister in law is moving to France. She's about 8 hours into flight as I'm writing this. J. is going on 30 and this will be the first time she's lived away from home. Needless to say, her mother is a total wreck right now. When we called to ask how she was doing she said, "I feel like I've been run over by a micro (bus)."


Yesterday we had a celebratory/maybe kind of sad, I couldn't tell, lunch at the house where S. and J. grew up to say goodbye. J. was subdued and probably a bit overwhelmed due to packing and traveling stress, figuring out where she's going to live, most likely scared that she's moving to a country where she doesn't speak the language fluently -- and I can perfectly understand this, I've been there.


But, when we sat around the table in Estacion Central, where I've eaten ten million family lunches, something weird happened. We all ate our delicious meals, catered by a French chef for the special occasion. Then, one by one, after a little under an hour of eating and conversing, we got up from the table and left.


This never happens in Chile. I think most people who have spent any significant amount of time in Chile can tell that you that a 1-2 hour lunch is a rarity. I specifically remember being at a party until around 2am in the morning when a friend called me. She was supposed to be at the party with me but just didn't show up. When I finally heard from her in the wee hours of the morning she said, "I'm so sorry, we're just now leaving family lunch. We'll be at the party in 10 minutes." And I wasn't like, "What the eff are you doing still eating lunch at two in the morning!??" Because, something like that happening in this country is totally feasible.


I'm assuming in some peoples family's/host family's the long Chilean lunch may be because people eat slowly/talk a lot. This is not the case at S.'s house. In that residence, we shove our faces full in 20 minutes then sit around at the table polishing off bottles of alcohol and chatting for another 4 or so hours. In general, we get up from family lunch on the weekends and S. and I will leave the house to come home to our apartment and make dinner. By that time we're starving.


This is why S. and I don't go to a lot of family lunches. While seeing the family once a week isn't unreasonable, unfortunately I have to try and balance work and play on the weekends since usually I'm frantically writing on Saturday and Sunday trying to make up for stories I missed during the week. If I lived in the U.S. near my mom I can already tell you right now what we would do -- once a week we'd meet up for coffee for an hour on our lunch breaks, talk each other's ears off to cram as much as possible in that sixty minute time period and then do it again the next week. But with S.'s family, since we see them in 5 (most of the time more)hour increments, that sort of makes it feel like one lunch every 5 weeks is sufficient.


Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy family lunches when the mood is right. I can talk with my mother in law for hours. She's a fascinating woman who has seen the world. She lived under a brutal dictatorship in Paraguay, and then in Chile. France was where she met S.'s dad -- although she was born in Paraguay, her family is French so she went to live there as a Spanish professor after college. He studied French in college and just happened to be in the same place at the same time doing the same thing (they even slept in a twin bed together for a few months, just like S. and I did for about two years!). She has an opinion about everything and debates interesting subjects with me articulately. Hell, just the fact that she went to college in Paraguay 40 years ago (in a country that she says is at least 50 years behind Chile developmentally speaking) is amazing. I'm usually pretty fascinated by what she has to say. We just don't always have the time to stay and listen. I hope we don't regret this someday when we're living in a far off country and no longer have family just a metro ride away. I say this more for S. than for myself as I know that I didn't truly value my mom (and brother and dad and everyone else) until I lived abroad.



PS. In the survey, Heather had a great suggestion. She thought that all the Chile bloggers could choose a topic and then blog about it during a certain time frame, sort of using the internet as a giant forum. :) I'm definitely down for doing that, although I think we should open the topics to anyone who has something to say on the subject, not just Chile bloggers. For the first topic I was kind of thinking about writing on Chilean men (or foreign men for those of you who aren't in Chile). But I'm open to other ideas. Leave suggestions in the comments. Then we can decide on a topic and write about it by say, Friday and I'll post links to everyone's blog posts. Yes, no, maybe so? You guys let me know what you think about the idea...

The Winner Is...

Watch the video to find out who won the contest! There were almost 90 people who took the survey so I decided to give away two sets of postcards. I made the first video and drew a name out the hat then decided afterwards to have a second winner. So I drew that name out off camera but made a second video in which Papito announces the second winner.






Congrats to those who won, I'll be email you shortly to get your address so I can ship the postcards to you on Monday!

FAQ's II

Well, there have been enough questions in the survey to keep me going on the FAQ's for a while so I'm just going to answer a few more today and then try to get back to some regular posting.

Don't forget, today is the last day of the survey!!! It closes at midnight so take it now. Shortly after midnight I'll announce who wins postcards! And again, thank you to everyone who has taken the time to go through and answer my questions, you guys are awesome!

Why don't you blog about life outside Providencia, gringos always stay in that area of the city but there is more to Santiago. (Someone even suggested that I "come visit Estacion Central!" which I thought was kind of hilarious. I'll be having lunch there tomorrow.)
The three people asked some version of this question are all people who began reading recently, so I ask you to just go ahead and go back in the archives if you are curious as to what life was like for a gringa in Estacion Central. :) I've only been living in my current fancy schmancy apartment for 7 months. Before that I lived, where else, Estacion Central for 2 years. I've also lived 3 months in Puente Alto and spent weekends with a family in Nunoa. Used to grocery shop in Maipu, have been to about 10,000 asados in El Bosque, paradero 36 1/2. It always makes me laugh when people think I'm a cuica. I can't say I've seen it all, but I think I do have a pretty well rounded vision of Santiago.

Can you post tips on photography? I would love to hear what you do to your photos in post-processing.
I think that content would fit in over at my photography blog better and enough people requested this to make it a regular feature. So starting next week I am going to do a once a week photography (most likely focused on Photoshop) tip at Kyle Hepp Photography.

You should post more photos of cities other than Santiago.
Do you want to fund my photography expeditions outside Santiago? I would love to comply with this request. Unfortunately I do have a full time job (writing for 5 blogs that actually pay me, plus this one and my photography blog that don't pay me) and little time or extra money to travel to other cities. When we go on our trip around the world though, you will be seeing plenty of photographs of other places though, don't worry!

How did you get your blogging jobs? How do you make a living as a blogger?
My first blogging job was a blog that myself and several friends used to read regularly (I'm Not Obsessed). When I started looking for a job in Chile, banging on doors and getting rejected over and over again at ridiculously low paying jobs ("We're sorry, you need to have a degree in Secretarianismo, you're not qualified to be a secretary") I finally realized it would be much more beneficial to somehow figure out how to earn a U.S. salary and work for a U.S. company. So when a friend saw that the owner of I'm Not Obsessed needed someone to cover her during maternity leave she suggested I apply. I did, and I did not get denied even though I don't have a degree in Writing Celebrity Gossip. I worked hard at that job and was promoted to editor within months. Then a co-worker told me about another blog that she was going to apply for (Styledash) and suggested that I apply as well. I did, and got that job as well. My boss at Styledash then invited me to work at Green Daily and I began blogging there too. Most recently a co-worker/writer at Green Daily and Styledash told me about Tonic New Network looking for writers and so I added that as blog #5 on my list of blogs that me. I think I'm about done for now though. It's hard enough to keep up as it is. Making a living as a blogger is a lot of fun, but also a little draining. Keeping my own schedule is fabulous but having the self motivation to write every day is hard and the pressure to be funny and entertaining sometimes really weighs me down.

Other people also asked about how much pay is and where to find jobs. Email me directly and I'll be happy to point you in the right direction and give you ballpark figures.

Where do you find your inspiration to write? Is it just a natural thing? How long do you spend writing a blog entry normally?
I usually write a full entry in my head before sitting down to type it out. It sounds weird, but that's how I've always done it. Most of the time I will see something during my day to day life that inspires me -- for example, a healthy young woman at the grocery store cutting in front of a pregnant woman in line for checkout. I'll think to myself, "Jeez, that's disgusting, yet how many times have I seen that happen?" And then as soon as I realize it's a recurring thing in every day life I usually think it could make a good blog post. I then go back and try to remember what experiences I or my friends have had with similar incidents and my husband or other Chilean's comments on said incident. I'll jot down a few quick notes (e.g. pregnant lady, cut in line, used to think this just happened in overcrowded Estacion Central, happens everywhere not just barrios bajos) if I'm out somewhere and in the middle of doing something else so I don't forget what I wanted to write about. That night I'll write the entry in my head either before I go to sleep or while I'm watching T.V. and then the next day I'll type it up and post. Most blog posts take 40-60 minutes.

Also, a lot of you don't like the blog colors or have trouble reading the text on the background color. I'm going to try a few changes and switch it up today. I don't know how much luck I'll have because the text at one point was white on black and then black and white as well as a couple other options and with each different one I got complaints. Guess you can't please everybody!

So thanks again, and if you haven't already don't forget to take the survey! Hurry, you have until midnight Chile time tonight.

FAQ's

Ok, so these are not really FAQ's, but they are FAQ's in the survey at least. I thought that I would go through and start answering some of them, but if you haven't participated yet, no fears! The survey is still open! Take it and you will be entered to win a set of beautiful Chile postcards! Oh, and you can tell me what you hate/love about this blog and how I can make it better, if that's motivation for anyone. :P

Anyways, here are a few questions that were asked in the survey. Eventually I'm going to get through them all. Also, many of these were asked by multiple people so I may have reworded your question to combine it with other similar questions.

What do you eat every day? Tell me more about the food in Chile.
You'll be disappointed to know that I eat fairly normal non-exotic cuisine. I often eat a sub from Subway, a no cheese pizza at Voraz, or mashed potatoes from La Mia Pappa for lunch. When I go out to eat I like Los Cuates, a Mexican restaurant, Wasabi, or sometimes Liguria, all of which are close and super convenient for me. Another favorite is Pinch of Pancho, which is more expensive but really delish. I also love Zanzibar, Santa Brasa. And then of course nothing tops Caramano where we had our wedding reception. They have the best Chilean food in town, by far!!! To the two people who requested food blogging, this is about as good as it's going to get right here. Unfortunately I'm not much of a foodie. I love to eat, but it's not a subject that gets me passionate. Katina has promised to do some great reviews on her blog though. And if what you're interested in is learning about typical Chilean food, back in the day I did a couple of food posts over at Love to Travel Chile. Sorry I'm not more exciting in the edibles department.

When are you and your husband taking your trip around the world and will you keep posting? How much money do you need for your trip? Sorry, was that rude to ask?
We are leaving sometime between July of '09 and December of '09. Barring any financial disasters we should have the money in the bank by July. But we have always been planning to do the first leg of our trip in Chile. It would be a shame to leave after what will have been 4 years of living here without seeing more of this very beautiful and very diverse country. We would like to start out by doing the Carretera Austral a dedo (hitchhiking) and camping, and then head down to Torres del Paine before crossing over to Argentina. So in that case we'd need to wait until probably October for the weather to be nice enough. However, S.'s job sends him to short construction sites, usually between 3-8 months, so it will depend on whenever his construction site then ends. He gets bonuses at the end of each one that goes well so it would be silly not to stick around for that. We think we need about 60,000 total for us to travel for a year to a year and a half (mainly in the cheaper areas of the Americas and Asia and then a very short amount of time in Europe and the U.S.). We've currently saved a third of that and are on track to put away more than that before we leave. No, it wasn't rude to ask, I don't mind answering. Yes, of course I will keep posting here. The only difference is that this will be come Just Married Around the World Style. And, who knows, S. might even start his own blog too. Get excited for that! Last time we traveled he kept an online journal and it was hysterical.

What is life like outside Santiago?
Slower. Nicer people. A more isolated life. I also shouldn't say that I know what life outside Santiago is like as I have only visited cities outside the capital, never lived in them. But those are my impressions in a nutshell.

Why did you name your girl dog Papito?
While she was following us home I was calling her puppy and S. thought I was saying Papi. The rest is history.

And a word about comments while we're talking about survey responses. I don't delete comments aside from two that I erased because they were promoting a blog that was trying to get people to commit bodily harm to another blogger. If you don't see your comment on my site, assume that Blogger messed up. Go ahead and read back. I leave all comments, people who love me, people who hate me, people who tell me to leave Chile, people who say rude things about myself and my husband...they're all there. I respect your right to have an opinion and voice it on this blog. I realize that by making my thoughts public I have opened myself up to all that comes with that so I repeat, I do not delete comments.

My other comment on comments is that for a few of you who said that commenting is intimidating because other commenters seem like they know me in real life, yes, some of them do. A lot of them don't though, we just have a chummy relationship because we've been reading each other's blogs for some time now! So if that's your reason for not commenting, please, jump right in there! I love getting comments, I love the way the discussions on here get me thinking and I love feedback on this blog since I put a lot into writing it. I love to hear from people reading and to get their thoughts on whatever the Chile subject du jour is.

That's all for today. As you can see I'm trying to take many of your suggestions to post more often and make each entry a little shorter. Trying being the operative word in that sentence. :P

So thanks to those of you who have taken the survey and if you haven't yet, what are you waiting for???

Meet Papito

As promised here are pictures of Papito, my new puppy. :)









It's amazing how walking around with a puppy changes all of Santiago. All of a sudden people look you in the eye and smile. That never happens in this city. Old ladies will stop you, make small talk and pet your dog. Construction workers don't scream obscene things at you as you walk by, instead, they coo at the canine on the end your leash -- and then as you walk away they scream even more disgusting dog related obscenities at your back -- but hey, at least they're respectful to your face.

Anyways, suddenly with Papito by my side, this whole country is so much friendlier. The funny thing is, as Emily pointed out, people who walk right by stray dogs and homeless people and don't even blink will coo and gush over a mutt as long just because it's on the end of a leash. Weird. I wonder if I started taking homeless people out for walks if Santiaguinos would suddenly notice them too.

Papito was clearly a house dog before she was either abandoned or lost by her previous owners. She's house trained, kind of obedient in a puppy sort of way, and has only chewed up papers we've left on the floor but nothing important. She knows not to get in the bed, but sleeps on the futon. And she doesn't bark. Clearly strays are the way to go. You have your pick of the billions that are roaming the streets of Santiago, and if you're lucky, your new puppy will come fully trained. I'd love to think that she was lost but somehow I can't quite believe that. People dumping pets they get sick of on the streets is a pretty big problem here. Whoever let her go is crazy.


PS. Don't forget to fill out my short survey and you will be entered to a win a set of my postcards! Survey runs until Friday.

Ay, Papito!

In over three years in Santiago, I don't think I would be exaggerating if I said I've passed thousands of stray dogs on the street. I'm actually quite terrified of dogs so living in this city has been somewhat of a traumatic experience.

Providencia, the neighborhood where I currently live is more hoity toity and therefore has less of a canine problem. But, when I used to go running in Estacion Central, I'd have to bring a stick with me to fend off packs of wild dogs. Ok, so the situation was not really that dramatic, but there really were packs of dogs that roamed the streets and scared the shit out of me.

I'd be lying if I said that stray dogs "me dan pena," or make me feel pity for them. In all honesty, I'm not an animal person...at all. It's quite the opposite in fact. Animals are smelly, hairy, and gross and I am always baffled by people who choose to advocate animal rights when there are so many human beings suffering in this world. I know that's a controversial statement, but that's the way I've always felt and still do.

All that being said can't quite explain the fact, why now, I have a little black bundle of slobber and love curled up next to me on my futon.

The vet said she's about 7 months old and won't grow any larger than her current size (8.5 kilos). We found her on the street on Saturday night. Our friend was getting married at a beautiful Catholic church less than a 20 minute walk from our house. S. and I watched our good friend say his "I do's," with his then girlfriend, now wife. I cried, S. clapped, yaddi yaddi yadda. After all was said and done, we walked out to mingle with the people outside the church, all the while dodging a terrifying "tia" aka, aunt giving us the evil eye -- maybe due to the fact that at normal Chilean weddings, women wear long prom dress styles and I was wearing a mini with tights -- or maybe she was hating because she had loaned us some mattresses for my family to sleep on when they were down for the wedding almost two years ago and we still haven't arranged a drop off time to give them back (extenuating circumstances, I'm not even kidding). So we ran off to the side where no tia could hunt us down and give us the devil stare. Lo and behold, we happened upon a little black puppy running on only three paws.

She paused next to me and looked into my eyes. Her look didn't say, "I'm needy and pathetic." Instead it said, "I've happened upon some trying times on these streets but I'm still fun and awesome!" I knelt down and petted her, something I have never done to a street dog or even to many house dogs. Long story short, she followed us from the church home and now she lives with us.

I've named her Papito and will be posting pictures soon -- mad props to all dog photographers, never before did I realize how hard it is to make a an energetic little ball of fur stay still for longer than .25 seconds.

Ps. The survey is still open. Answer 11 questions and enter your name to win a set of my postcards!

Win a Set of Chile Postcards!

Hi everyone. I am doing a survey to find out a little more about who reads Just Married Chilean Style and what I can do to make it better. Lately I've been having a hard time figuring out what type of content to focus on so this should help me out.

If you complete the survey and leave a valid email address at the end, you will be entered to win a set of Chile postcards! Anybody in any country is eligible to win. And I promise I will not use your email address for anything else but to contact you if you win the contest.

The only rules are that you must answer every question and your email address must be valid.

It's only 11 questions, and you're allowed to choose multiple answer. The survey will run until Friday, 8/15 when I will draw a name out of a hat to choose a winner -- have at it!

*Feel free to answer any of the open ended questions in Spanish.

Survey is now closed, sorry if you missed it!

Chileans and Distrust...We've Been Here Before

I've written posts on this subject numerous times -- most recently on how I feel it's hard to make friends here because Chileans are so distrusting of anybody who's an outsider. I've also mentioned on this blog that I feel that the Chilean culture is a very cold one and I've had a lot of people disagree with me. Chileans have left comments telling me it must be that I don't speak Spanish or don't try hard enough (I do and I did). Expat women in other countries have said it's hard making friends anywhere (it is, I don't deny that). But, thanks to super sociologist Jose Miguel, I now have proof. Most of this blog is about the way I feel and the observations I make based off of the way I feel, but these are the cold hard facts.

So, not to say I told you so...but I TOLD YOU SO!!! :)


This graphic (from a recent survey done by CEP, PNUD, Libertad y Desarrollo y ProyectAmérica) shows how Chileans answered when asked the question, "In general would you say that you can trust the majority of people or cannot trust the majority of people." 73% responded "cannot trust."

The second graphic shows Chile's trust levels compared to the rest of Latin America. It was done in 2007 by Latinobarómetro and just 9% of Chileans answered yes when asked if they could trust in the majority of people. You'll see that trust levels here, oddly enough, are far below other more dangerous countries in Latin America.

This is from the email that Jose Miguel sent me, roughly translated, and I couldn't agree more with what he says,

Why does this happen? Frankly, I have no idea, jajaja. But, it is a fact that truly explains why Chileans find refuge in their intimate friends and family(...)It also explains why groups of friends can be so closed, why people find jobs almost exclusively through an in via someone they know, and why in many conversations between people who have just met they try and figure out if they have a friend in common. Maybe this also explain the great fear of delinquency, although that might be stretching it.

I actually don't think that's stretching it. There is an absolute panic of delinquency in this country. There are specials on the news all the time featuring areas of Santiago showing how many people get robbed there, news crews that follow bands of thieves, specials showing how thieves work the jail system (in and out with no consequences in case you're wondering) and reports on crooks that specialize in certain kinds of robbery. And not a single day goes by where I don't overhear someone mention that the "flaites" (low social class, also associated with being dangerous) are taking over.

After saying all that, you would think that Chile is a seriously scary country. In spite of the fact that I specifically have had bad luck with getting mugged, I don't believe that Santiago is dangerous. Chile is actually ranked as the 19th most peaceful country in the world and the number 1 most peaceful country in all of Latin America. The United States is 97 on that list!

Why else would Chileans have such a terrible fear of crime, when crime rates here are relatively low? I really do think that the trust issue explains it. Aside from the whole not trusting foreigners and not wanting to be friends with them thing, Chileans don't even trust each other! At parties, even amongst friends, people will tell you to watch your stuff.

So what does all this mean? Nothing really. We've talked about it all before. I just thought that the graphs were really interesting so I wanted to share them (and prove that the things I write are not all in my head).

Thanks again to my friend over at Socioblog. His blog is awesome and he's really nice so check him out. Warning, it's written in Spanish. But, I think the majority of the people who read this blog are bilingual so most of you will probably be ok.

Childhood Obesity in Chile Exceeds U.S. Rates

Rates of childhood obesity in Chile have exceeded rates of childhood obesity in the U.S. This day was pretty much inevitable. Kids can only eat so much mayonnaise, you know.

Here's a little blurb taken from today's edition of the Chilean newspaper, La Tercera, that I roughly translated.

The percentage of overweight children between the ages of 2-5 in the country has reached 23.4% while in the U.S. percentages reach 13.9%. This phenomenon has meant that children are being affected by diseases such as Type 2 Diabetes and are consuming adult pharmaceutical medicines.

That's terrible. And while I know many people here blame U.S. companies for their obesity problems because of the influx of fast food restaurants, such as McDonald's and Burger King, Chileans themselves have had a definite hand in digging Chilean childrens' grave.

Honestly, if cafeteria lunches in the U.S., here school systems' food options are appalling. Since lunch here is generally eaten around 1pm or 2pm, children are usually expected to eat a full meal when they arrive home, rather than eat a school lunch. But that doesn't stop most schools from having kiosks either on campus or right outside school gates where they sell nothing but candies, chips and other snacks.

And, I believe I've mentioned this before but Chile is #3 in amount of Coca Cola consumed per capita, beaten out only by Mexico and the U.S. Chile is #2 is bread consumption in the world (with lower income families eating more bread per person than higher income families), following Germany. The country is also the #3 consumer of mayonnaise in the world.



Let's also mention two of the national foods of Chile. We have the completo, aka, hotdog. I'll let someone else describe the completo since I've never eaten one and never will. They totally gross me out.

The single most popular food is a bit less healthy, el completo. This is a traditional hot dog in a bun topped with dripping piles of mayonnaise, ketchup, guacamole and tomatoes. It is the Chilean equivalent to the American peanut butter and jelly or the Australian vegemite sandwich.

Completos are sold all over Santiago on street corners at all hours of the day and night. Not surprisingly, I've definitely noticed that carritos selling completos are much more prevalent in the "barrios bajos," or "low neighborhood," (meaning low elevation and low social class). So the phenomenon of poor people bearing the brunt of the obesity crisis isn't only happening in the U.S.

And while talking about unhealthy Chilean foods, I would be remiss if I didn't mention another national dish, the chorrillana. I have partaken in this delicacy so let me just say this -- heart attack on a plate. Basically, the chorrillana is a giant pile of french fries, chopped up steak, fried onions and scrambled eggs, all fried. It's greasy, salty, delicious and deadly. Check out Matt's Valparaiso blog for descriptions and pictures of his visit to J. Cruz, the most famous of all chorrillana restaurants.

Combine these delicacies with a city that's not exactly workout friendly -- the smog makes running outside hazardous to your health, sidewalks anywhere but in rich neighborhood are cracked, non existent or covered in trash and dog shit, and out of control micros and taxis make it hard to bike on the streets. If that weren't bad enough, gym memberships here are extremely expensive -- many places offer memberships that cost as much as gyms in the U.S., which is ridiculous since most people here don't make close to the salaries that people in the U.S. do.



Sports and extracurriculars are not as common here as they are in the U.S. either. Playing sports requires money for equipment, facilities, uniforms and league memberships which many schools just don't have. Plus, there is still the stigma that woman playing sports are manly. Although, that's quickly changing, thank goodness -- but it does still exist. Many parents don't think that their daughters should do things like run or play soccer because those aren't "feminine activities." When I did my internship at the Chilean Olympic Committee we held a "Women in Sports" seminar and did focus groups. Mothers attended and a lot of them said that they faced opposition from their husbands when trying to encourage their daughters to play sports.

The adult obesity problem in Chile isn't as great as it is in the U.S., but when this generation of obese children grows up, they're headed down the same path.

The amount of morbidly or super morbidly obese people in Chile still seems to be less than in the U.S. For example, in the U.S. in pretty much any city, you can walk into a mall and you'll see at least one man or woman who is so big that people stare. Here, adults, at least still have not reached that point. I don't think I've ever seen one adult in Chile (aside from a television show called Cuestion de Peso, the Chilean equivalent of Biggest Loser) that is so big he or she would not fit into an airplane seat, while in the U.S. I'd venture that I'd see someone that big nearly every day.

I hope that a health movement will catch on in Chile soon, because honestly, I feel that childhood obesity is terribly sad. Parents have the power to control what their children eat. But, I think a huge part of the problem in Chile is the lack of education on what is healthy and what's not. Sometimes I just want to shake Chilean people and tell them -- Red meat with 2 sides of carbs does not a healthy meal make. You should not be getting your only source of hydration from Coca Cola. And no, sugary juices are not a substitute for water. And cooking all the nutrients out of broccoli than smothering it in mayonnaise isn't a salad.

I don't want Chile to become a nation of overweight citizens like the U.S. This whole thing is depressing me.

One Semester of Spanish Love Song

Thanks to awesome Chile blogger Leigh for introducing me to one of the funniest videos I have ever seen in my life.

*The song is in Spanish, obviously, but anyone who has taken at least one semester should be able to understand. :P

Ps. I DIED at the counting part. Please tell me I'm not the only one.

Do You Want Some Burger With That Mayo?

The Chilean obsession with mayonnaise is so severe that it absolutely dumbfounds me. If you're a mayo lover you'd be quite content in this country. I'm not really sure what we could compare it to in the U.S.; maybe our country's love of ketchup? But, even ketchup's red sticky tentacles in the U.S. don't reach as far and wide as mayo's tentacles do here.

They put it on everything. It's used as a dressing on salads, slathered on top of hotdogs that are already covered in avocado, women on diets dip veggies dipped in mayo light for dinner, women not on diets dip potato chips and french fries in it. I've even seen someone eat mayo on eggs here.

I don't eat mayo in the U.S. and try to stay away from it here as well, although that has proved nearly impossible. So I can't chime in on differences in taste, but I know that it certainly looks different than the U.S. version. Our version is white, the Chilean version is a dark creamy yellow color. And it comes in a bag, not a jar.

Today, I went to a new salad bar type place that opened up next to Starbucks for lunch call Oh! Salad Garden. Let me just say that Oh! Sucks!

I assumed since they were a salad bar they would carry actual salad dressings. But, no. The clerk explained my options to me. I could have mayonnaise with red pepper, mayonnaise with merquen (a Chilean spice, which is actually smoky, a little spicy, totally delish and way underutilized here since the Chilean people as a whole seem to have something against flavor), Salsa Golf or Salsa Cesar. For your information, Salsa Golf is a 50/50 mix of ketchup and mayo that Chileans also enjoy using as a dip for potato chips and french fries. This country definitely rivals the U.S. when it comes to it's oh-so-healthy eating habits.

I went with the Caesar dressing, but upon my first bite realized that it wasn't Caesar dressing, it just tasted like plain old mayonnaise.

The whole salad eating incident here reminds me of another eating quirk in this country. Salads as we know them don't exist. Aside from the fact that they don't have salad dressing aside from the three main options of mayo with something, oil and lemon or oil and vinegar, they just don't do salads as we gringas know them.

In general, veggies like cauliflower, broccoli, peppers and onions will only go on a Chilean salad if they're cooked. And by cooked, I mean overcooked until they're mushy, disgusting and totally devoid of any nutritional value. And if you order a cucumber salad, for example, don't think that means the cucumbers will come on a bed of lettuce or with anything else (including dressing). In Chile's case, judge a salad book by it's cover. If the menu says cucumber salad, you will be served a plate of cut up cucumbers; nothing more, nothing less. In the majority of Santiago restaurants, if you want a salad as we know it, say a mixture of lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers, you must order everything separately. Your ensalada de Lechuga, ensalada de tomate y ensalada de pepino will then arrive on separate plates and if you want to combine them you must request a bowl or extra plate from the waiter, who will then look at you curiously and shake his head as if to, "Oh these crazy gringas..."

So anyways, like I said, I was quite excited to come to Oh! Salad Garden. I thought they might have something closer resembling what I know and believe to be a salad. I picked out my "lettuce blend," and then approached the counter to ask for veggies. Unfortunately this place is a salad garden, not a salad bar, much to my disappointment. You could only ask for two veggies from the non-premium items, one from the premium items, and one kind of meat. For my non-premium produce, I requested tomato and cucumber. Me and my salad attendant then moved on to the premium goodies. Unfortunately everything either had cheese (don't like) or was some form of soggy overcooked vegetable. I asked if I could get another non-premium item instead. No. Even if I didn't want meat either? No. No, substitutions are allowed. Although the girl did seem kind of unsure of herself, but I wasn't in the mood to be combative so I accepted my fate (See my previously written "No" post. Chileans are obsessed with the word no and they wield it's power like a sword at every given opportunity).

I asked if there were any premium items without cheese or soggy vegetables. She said yes and pointed to round white balls about in inch in circumference. They sort of appeared to be carefully molded potatoes. I accepted without asking what they were. Next up she heaped crutons and Caesar dressing, aka mayo on my salad. I was going to eat at the cute little neon green tables in their dining room, but I had some sort of post-traumatic stress disorder flashback to when we lived with S.'s mom and she decorated every inch of the entire house in that color, which, after poop brown and vomit green (no, calling those colors chocolate and olive don't make them any prettier) is quite possibly my least favorite hue in the whole entire world. So I went to a table over at Starbucks, whose decor is also ugly, but less in your face. I was eager to sample my sample and figure out what those little white balls were. Also, I had asked for chicken on my salad and it came in a rectangular block of grey matter. That too was making me nervous, but I'm willing to try anything once.

I sat down. I took a big bite of leafy greens. Tears nearly welled up in my eyes when I realized that the country of Chile had fooled me with crappy mayo disguised as salad dressing, yet again. I took a bite of the grey rectangular block. It tasted like grey cardboard. Fortunately, since it was just an entire block of matter sitting on top of my salad, it was not difficult to pick out. And last but not least, I lifted a little white ball to my mouth. It was a ball of bread.

Did I mention that Chile's second greatest food obsession after mayo, is carbs?

I really should have taken a picture of these oddities, but I didn't have my camera with me. They were so weird looking though, that I would almost considering going back just to get the photo, except for the fact that the piece of shit salad was $7 dollars!!! Jeez, that's like Panera Bread expensive, but McDonald's quality.

Aaaaand, I can't believe I just spent a half an hour writing about mayo and salad. Over and out.