Pictures of Me When I Was Fat (ter)

S. said to me the other day, "Wow. You've changed a lot."


At first I though he meant that I had turned into a cranky old biddy or something and we were about to have that retardedly stereotypical fight where the husband tells the wife she's not the same anymore and the wife tells the husband that he's not romantic anymore, and it all ends in smoke and tears.


But he meant that I looked different than I did when we first started dating. His exact quote to explain himself was, "I mean, look at my face. I've had the same face since I was 12. You haven't." Which is true. In part, I'm sure, because of my weight loss, I definitely look a lot different than I did back in the day.


The whole thing had me searching through old photos taking a trip down memory lane. My options are limited though since most of my old pics are on film and I don't have them on my computer. Here's what I found.


Life started out pretty well. I was a cute baby with a really hot mom:




And my dad may have been rocking the porn 'stache, but he was still a pretty handsome guy.




We liked to fish...



We lived on a lake. Everything was good...



...until my mom gave me a mullet and bangs.



And then a curly bowl cut.




A few years later I started getting a little chubbier than most of the other kids my age.



Fortunately, I was still too young to care.



I was good at sports even though I was "big boned," or "super muscular" or whatever form of the word BIG people chose to use for me.



When I went to Chile, people always commented on my weight, because well, people here are really rude about that sort of thing. I still wasn't phased. I was blond and that was enough for all the guys in my class here to want to kiss me. :)



By the time I was a sophomore in high school I was much fatter than my mom and my weight sort of bothered me.



But, I really never felt bad about myself.


I've always had a huge ego. Nothing can bring me down, not even stomach rolls and thunder thighs.



UGH. Band camp = LOVE. You can call me a nerd all you want but I have some of the most fun memories.



I gained even more weight in college. And as you can see, I had super curly hair up until recently. It always looked like this unless I straightened it.



And then I started running like a maniac on the track every night. Losing weight completely changed my identity and I started feeling like a bad ass. I dyed my hair red, got my nose and belly button pierced, and got a tattoo.



But even though I was hot I still never had sex with anyone.




Oddly enough, around the time I started having sex with S. my hair started getting straighter. I'm not saying this to give you TMI. I just think there's some kind of hormonal connection there.




I maintained my 50 pound weight loss until I got married and then I lost 10 more pounds just for the heck of it. This is me on the week of my wedding when I weighed about 125 lbs, my lowest adult weight ever.





Since all my super hot besties were coming to the wedding I had to look good!




Now here's me. I weigh 132, but ever since I got married my face just keeps getting more and more angular, no matter what I weigh, and my hair keeps getting straighter. When I look in the mirror sometimes I can't even recognize the person who stares back.



S. is right. I have changed a lot.

Photoshop Tutorial on Photography Blog

I did a survey on this blog a few months ago. Ok, actually it was more than six months ago. And I promised to do some Photoshop tutorials for those of you who asked for photography tips. In August, I wrote that starting next week I would do a weekly tutorial. Oops!

But, better late than never! The first tutorial on better, brighter, more vivid color for your pictures by editing in Lab Mode in Photoshop is up at my Kyle Hepp Photography blog. If you're not into photography this probably isn't interesting to you at all. But if you are into photography and photo editing, will you let me know if the tutorial helped you in any way shape or form? I'm a little nervous about posting it as I'm not much of a Photoshop guru and I also don't know that I'm very good at explaining technical photography information. But hopefully this helps someone out there!

My Doorman Hates Me Part II

I apologized to my doorman and it really wasn't a big deal at all. As soon as I said, "I'm sorry," the very second that those two powerful little words crossed my lips, a smile lit up his face and we were BFF's again.


In the end, I decided that most of you were right. This is Chile. I'm the only person in the country who normally doesn't break rules all the time. I don't litter. I don't chuck my trash out the window onto the street below. I don't even cross the fucking yellow line on the metro and I ALWAYS dejar bajar antes de subir. I follow the rules. I'm a good girl.


Which means, I always say I'm sorry, even if I'm not 100% in the wrong.


I wavered back and forth on this after reading all of your responses. Yes, it's true. I'm easily swayed by blog readers, many of whom I don't even know in real life. But y'all are good people. You're putting Marcelo through college with me. I don't doubt your morals.



In the end, I decided that the situation really didn't require any baking or gift buying on my part. And I stopped feeling so damn guilty that an apology would have been nothing more than just an unburdening of my conscious. What I did realize is that really Don Jose just wants validation that his job matters. That's why he tried to enforce the rules. I get that. We all want to feel like the work we do is important.


So I apologized. I didn't even have to explain myself or anything, and immediately all was forgiven. I believe his exact words were, "I understand, it was your birthday, she's your best friend and yeah. You had drank a LOT."



Saying those words almost always makes me feel better even when nothing is my fault. For instance, if S. and I are bickering, I used to have a huge problem swallowing my pride long enough to apologize. But, now I realize I'd rather not waste time having people in this world have anger towards me, even for a misunderstanding. So I say, "I'm sorry I'm angry with you right now, this is silly. Let's not fight." And that line works with virtually anyone. You don't have to be sorry for whatever the other person thinks you did -- just sorry enough that the other person is unhappy that you're willing to put your pride aside and say those two little words.


I wasn't sorry that I brought Papito downstairs with me to my birthday party. In fact, I'd do it again in a heartbeat even if I didn't know whether or not Don Jose would eventually forgive me. But, I was sorry for making Don Jose feel like his job was unimportant enough to me that I would just pasar sus reglas por la raja (loosely translated, shove his rules up my ass, I can't think of a good translation right now, sorry). So, Papito sat on my lap at my birthday party, and then Don Jose forgave. Yes, all is right in the world again.

My Doorman Hates Me

You know how Saturday I had a birthday party and yesterday I was really happy about how it all went down?


Well, apparently the champagne blocked one important event out of my mind...I made a serious enemy out of my doorman! I mean, I just saw him today for the first time since then...if looks could kill, I'm telling you I would have dropped dead on the spot. The man stared me down hardcore.


See, in my building there are general rules, and one of them says you're not allowed to have a dog down by the pool area. But, a couple other times I've brought Papito down and asked whoever the doorman on duty is, if it's alright, and they've always said yes as long as she's with me and not running around. And then I bring her down and she sits on my lap and all is right in the world.


For my birthday party, Emily brought over Lola and we asked if the dogs could play together outside since my friends were the only ones down by the pool. There were no other tenants to bother or anything. My doorman, Don Jose, said yes. They came out, they didn't hurt anything, they didn't make a single noise because neither Lola or Papito really bark. 10 minutes later Don Jose came out and said that someone had complained and we had to take the dogs back upstairs. He was so lying about someone having complained. I'm actually pretty sure of that, I think he just wanted to cover his own ass but not come across as the bad guy.


We abided. Until I had too much champagne and decided that it was my birthday and I was going to do what I wanted to do regardless.


I'm normally not a rule breaker at all. Ask anybody, I have an absurdly guilty conscious. So I'm not sure why I did what I did.


At this point Rodolfo had went home with Lola, but I went upstairs and got Papito. I came down with her in my arms and told Don Jose, "She's all I have in Chile, she's my best friend and it's my birthday and I need her with me. I know you have to fine me for breaking the rules, but it's worth it to me, I want her with me." I was very drunk and definitely crying at this point. I'm pretty sure he didn't say anything, just shook his head very sadly as I walked on by defiantly carrying my puppy. Oh, the drama.


So now I need to apologize. I know I was wrong and I behaved like a brat. But, I'm SO SCARED!!!!!!!! I am terrified to try and talk to him. Don Jose shot me daggers today with his eyes. I can feel the hatred radiating from the little old man and he has every right to be mad. So maybe I'll just never leave my apartment again while Don Jose is on duty...too bad he works from 1pm to 10pm every day of the week but Sunday. Looks like I'll be spending a lot of time in the loft from here on out, unless I get the courage to man up and say I'm sorry.

My Birthday Party

Sometimes having a birthday party in a foreign country can be hard. I remember one year I was here and we celebrated me turning 22 at S.'s families beach house. Some of his friends came over to do a barbecue with us and drink. S.'s mean friend wouldn't let me listen to country music and then sat everyone down to play a drinking game I didn't know how to play...and he wouldn't stop to explain the rules to me.


That year was just a reminder of how far away from home I was, and I went to bed crying.


This year, however, having a birthday in Chile felt like a happy thing. I spent it with girlfriends, sipping champagne by the pool in our bikinis. :)



Caira, Katina, Z'leste, Emily and Renee (who arrived shortly after this photo was taken) all came over to celebrate with me.


In this moment I was not far away from home. I was home.


Thank you to all the people who wished me happy birthday, in person, via Twitter, via Facebook or via blog. You made my 25th so happy!


And because completed a quarter of a century of life has made me all introspective, here's a quote from Benjamin Button that I hope I always live by.

For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

This post was approved by a post-bath, very fuzzy Papito:









All photos taken with our Canon point and shoot camera.

Big Changes Coming

Get ready...


Big changes are in the air at Just Married Chilean Style.



I'm SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!



You'll find out soon. :)


And just because it's Friday night and I'm happy here's random clip from my favorite episode of my favorite show, Scrubs (the Somewhere Over the Rainbow episode called My Way Home). If you don't think this is funny, there must be something wrong with your brain.

Expats in Chile Are All from the Midwest

Ok, really, this is insanity. I keep meeting more and more gringa expats in Chile and they are ALL from the Midwest. I mean, seriously, the number of Minnesotans alone probably outnumbers the amount of Chileans in Santiago. Well, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but they truly do make up a vast percentage of the expats that I know.


And if the gringa expat isn't from the Midwest, she's most likely from New York City or California. Those are your other two options. :)


I wonder what it is about the Midwest that makes all of us gringas come running straight in the country of Chile's open arms. Were our lives growing up in the middle of cornfields just so boring that we wanted to trade it all in for a lifetime of mullets and machismo?



It would be really interesting to do a survey and find out.



Although, I'm not certain, because I don't know a LOT of older expats in Chile, I think the Midwest phenomenon might pertain only to this generation of gringas (20-33'ish years old). Anyways, if you could take 2 seconds to answer the poll above and tell me where you're from I'd greatly appreciate it. I want to see if all gringas in Chile are from the midwest, or really just all the gringas I know are from the Midwest.

Quit Our Jobs and Travel the World

Yesterday S. said something that made my little heart pitter patter.


He asked hesitantly, "So. If I put in my notice right now, then what?"


"Then what?" is a great question. I told him, "Then we leave! In a month! As soon as possible, with the money we have...let's go, let's do it! Let's DO IT!!!!"


When it all comes down to it, I don't really care about the money. If I have to blog more to keep us afloat as we travel, that's fine. I can do my job from anywhere and I think that means that in my head I'm just a little more mentally prepared than the average person to up and leave. Since my work can travel with me, and since I already live far away from family, I don't feel like I have any strings tying me down here in Chile. There's no emotional cutting the cord process to go through. As long as S. is with me, I'm already free to leave as I please. I'm already a mental vagabond.


S., on the other hand, well, he's more of a planner and a thinker than I am. I know the only reason he even mentioned quitting his job now is because he's been seriously contemplating for a long time. Otherwise he wouldn't even bring it up. And after I stopped jumping around the house screaming he started calculating how much money we have saved up, how much I would make writing if I only did it part time, how long that would last us, what we would do with Papito immediately, where we would go, etc.


He won't quit his job. I can tell. That's just not something he would do. But, I like that he's already talking about it. I like feeling that he's just as anxious as I am to get this show on the road.

Two Year Wedding Anniversary

Two years ago to the day I got married. Last year I went back and read what I posted on our first year anniversary, and realized, this year it's my turn to plan something. Oops. So I guess that means we'll be dining out at the restaurant around the corner. :)


I'm about to go mushy so if you don't like, don't read.


When I met S., I knew he would change my life. He made me realize that not all guys are dicks and not all marriages are doomed. I loved him instantly and better yet, he loved me too.


Here's a sweet cliche for you. He's a genuinely good guy and I couldn't ask for a better husband. It's true.


When we order sushi and split the rolls, he always gives me an extra piece of my favorite kind.


When I tell him I need him, he's there. Even if that means waking up in the middle of the night (for him, 4pm was the middle of the night because he's working the graveyard shift right now so his schedule is all turned around) after three hours of sleep and getting on a bus with me to go help me do a photo shoot because I'm too nervous to meet my clients alone. S. always comes through.


We laugh together. A lot. We make each other happy. Not 100% of the time, of course, but the large majority of the time, which is really all it takes.


S. and I have made it through cultural differences and physical distances. We overcame a language barrier. We didn't kill each other, even while living in a room the size of a shoebox. He's supportive of me while I try to get a business off the ground and I support him as he moves up the career ladder -- both of which are frustrating and time consuming.


I love him so much that sometimes it literally takes my breath away. And I'm not even a romantic, in the typical sense of the word. But, S. does make me believe in love. So here's to 2 years of marriage and many more to come. I lift my can of Coke to my husband as he snores in the bed upstairs.

Living in Chile Permanently

Don't be scared off by the title of this post. We haven't actually thrown our round the world trip plans to the wayside. But, last night while out on a walk with S. and Papito, I saw a glimpse into the future that could have been.


As we strolled, we stumbled across an unusually huge, unusually beautiful old abandoned house. It looked as though it had been in a huge fire. All the insides were gutted and only the basic structure remained. S. and I began guessing how much a place like that would sell for. And then we began talking about how we would fix it up if we were to buy it.


We'd knock out some of the walls on the first floor so that the living room, entrance area and kitchen were all one big empty space. We'd extend the round area on the second floor to become a huge balcony where we could eat breakfast on the weekends outside. We'd put in a small underground pool in the front yard. We'd plant shrubs, trees and vines in the front yard growing up against the gate so that we'd have a place where Papi could play and I could swim in privacy.


A future life in Chile flashed before my eyes.


The place was too far from the metro to walk if you're in a hurry, probably a good two miles. So we would have to own a car to shuttle our kid back and forth to her colegio (yes, if I ever have a kid she's going to be a girl and she's going to have brown curly hair, tan skin and green eyes like her daddy. No questions asked, please). Our nana would come every day to clean the house and cook for us while S. ran his own construction company and I went on photo shoots. We'd spend the weekends traveling (because in my future vision we were clearly rich ballers) or at our beach house in Quintay (a bit further North than Algarrobo, and much less populated).


I realized that if I wanted to, I could make life in Chile work. But, I snapped out of my reverie as S. said, "Wait a minute. Shouldn't we save our money to put towards buying a house in a country that we actually want to live in?"


We laughed and kept walking.


My visions of life in Chile are clear. For the most part, I know what I'll get if we stay here. Visions of traveling around the world and then making a home in another country are blurry and everchanging and a little scary, because I have no preconceived notions of where we're going, where we'll end up or what's going to happen. But, I like the uncertainty. I like living on the edge.

Best Pick Up Line Ever

Sometimes catcalls, piropos, in Chilean Spanish, are the bane of my existence and make me want to poke the man in the eyeball with a steak knife. Othertimes I simply walk on by and pretend I don't understand, or keep my headphones on so that I don't hear anything. Once in a while I get worked enough that I'll cuss the guy out.


But, sometimes, I just have to give in and laugh hysterically.


I'm not sure what made me think of this today. I certainly wasn't piropo'ed at all. I've been sick all week and look like absolute hell, so nobody's looking my way. But a few weeks ago when I was wearing a red dress (that does not have a hood, FYI), I received a memorable and creative piropo that I'm still chuckling about today.


A young taxi driver shouted out his window, "Ahhh, m'ijita rica."

In typical fashion, I didn't look, didn't flinch, didn't make any signs of acknowledgement.

But, then he yelled out,

"Oye, oye, tu! Caperucita Roja! Caperucita Roja seeeeeeeexy!"



He called me a sexy Little Red Riding Hood. This man involved a childhood fable in his sexual harassment ploys. I couldn't resist. I could not have kept a straight face if my life depended on it.



I cracked up. And so did he. And then he drove away. So to any Chilean men out there who enjoying catcalling, that's how you work it -- you have to be memorable...and slightly deranged.


What's the most creative line you've ever heard?

Isabel Allende's Tales of Passion

Stephanie linked to Elizabeth Gilbert's speech at this same conference and when I saw the Isabel Allende one I had to watch. It's long but very much worth your time.


Isabel Allende has long been a role model of mine. She is my absolute favorite author -- her words are never less than beautiful. And she's an amazing feminist activist/do-gooder. But that's not why I admire her.


Truth be told, I admire the grace with which she handles being an expat.


She was born in Peru to Chilean parents (Salvador Allende was her actually cousin), went to school in Chile, but has also lived in Lebanon, Bolivia, Venezuela and finally the U.S. In her writings she mostly focuses on the U.S. and Chile because those are places she lived the longest.


I love how fully she's embraced the U.S. as her home. Isabel is even a U.S. citizen. She seems so grateful for the life she has there, and very much in love with and at east in her adopted country. Although, at the same time, she doesn't hesitate to make jokes about how crazy the gringos are.


And then when it comes to Chile, she seems to still have a great love for this place. Yet, she doesn't glorify it as many expats tend to do with their home countries. Nor has she totally rejected it, as I've seen other expats do to their home countries in an effort to fit in better in their adopted country.


I admire someone who has so fully embraced both where she is now and where she came from. Isabel Allende makes being an expat look easy. And we all know that's no small feat.

Caracoles Shopping in Providencia

Have you ever been shopping in any of the various caracoles in Santiago? They are ABSURD. For those of the non-Spanish speaking readers, caracol means snail. And these malls are exactly that. They're spiral shaped shopping centers, filled with Pokemones*, ten thousand piercing/tattoo parlors, hair cut places that will only dye your hair pink and/or give you a mullet, and massive amounts of polyster clothes.


I was at one of these caracoles the other day because someone told me there was a craft store there. Looking for photo books I walked in, and since I haven't been feeling well for the past couple days, I have to say that the task of urban hiking uphill in the heat to find what I was looking for was daunting. I just wanted to take the damn stairs, but if you do that then you miss out on all the stores on the part of the caracol that curves around in between floors. I made it to the top, pathetically out of breath by the time I reached the last floor and there was no craft store. As I walked back down I couldn't help but wonder how SO many grungy looking piercing shops stay in business! I mean seriously, I don't want to get my nipples pierced...ahem, unlike someone I know.

Anyways, so after that failed mission I left to go print out the actual photos. I had wanted to put them in something pretty because I was leaving them at Japi Jane's office so that people who go there to buy sex toys might also decide they want boudoir sessions(speaking of, I have another session that I can post after V-Day that I am SO excited to show off!). But I decided to just print the photos and leave it at that. Off I went to the only place of know of in Santiago that does a decent job printing and usually doesn't distort colors too bad. They were open, the sign on the door said open and there were other customers inside, but I walked in the lady instantly said, "We're closed." So I asked her when they were going to open back up and she told that they wouldn't be printing digitially until the end of Feb. I asked if they had another location or another print store they could recommend me to since I needed the photos sooner than that and she said, "Everywhere is closed until the end of Feb."

Me: Blank stare.

(.....)

Me: Everywhere....like, there's no place I could get to get quality prints right now?
Lady looking at me as if I were retarded: Yes.
Me: (in my head) Mentirosa culiada!!!!! (out loud) Ok, thanks, have a nice day! (in my head) BITCH.


You know, if you doesn't know where to recommend, then just say, "I don't know." I find it particularly hilarious that some people here seem to be incapable of uttering those three little words, especially when it comes to giving directions. On a worse day this would have infuriated me. Fortunately I was in a good mood. I just walked out thinking, "Stupid little gringa...expecting people to always give you straight answers. HA! In what world?!?"



*Pokemones are an "urban tribe," in Santiago. I would best describe them as ascribing to the sort of Asian version of style where they purposely wear "freak" clothes to try and stand out, and then end up all looking the same with their black skinny jeans, dark black eyeliner, and black scraggly mullets. Also, this is a personal prejudice but I've found them to be incredibly rude mostly because a big group of them once spit on my friend. I don't know if having a punk attitude is part of their whole look and vibe or what.

Round the World Trip Budget

As most of you have gathered, I'm pretty open with my finances and our attempts at savings and what not. I know a lot of folks don't write about this stuff. In USAmerican society, not asking people about their money is an unspoken rule most people live by. But, my basic online rule is that once I touch on a topic by posting about it, I have absolutely no right to be offended if people ask me about it, even if it's a taboo subject.


At the current moment we have about $20,000 dollars saved up, although if we calculate in dollars the number fluctuates depending on whether the dollar goes up or down, since half of that is in pesos. We had $25,000 but then we went to the U.S. and spent $2500 on plane tickets, $500 on our photo session, $1,000 on new camera equipment and $1,000 on gas/food/tourist attractions like theme parks and aquariums and basketball games. I had budgeted out very carefully just how much we had to spend and I'm happy to say that we didn't go over at all, though at the end of our three weeks we really had to cut back since we were running low.


We estimate that if we wanted to leave right now, the 20k would be enough to get us all over Latin America for a year. Looking at the money saved by region is much a much more motivating way than to just give ourselves number deadlines.


I am going to continue blogging along the way. I won't be writing as much as I am now, but I'll still be writing and hopefully earning $1,000 a month. So the plan is that once we're in the U.S. we'll probably just relax and spend time visiting my family, but while there, I'll work as much as I can so that for that time we're only spending what I make and not dipping into savings. I'm also really hoping to book some weddings in the U.S. during that time. I think I'd get depressed if I didn't shoot a single wedding for more than a year while traveling!

Anyways, we'll be in the U.S. for three months since that's how long S.'s European waiver visa lasts. During that time we'll be staying relatively stationary and taking a break from backpacking.


Then the plan is to go to Canada, although we'll probably mostly be doing a lot of camping and hiking and not spending too much time in major cities because first world countries are cost prohibitive to our backpackers budget.


From there, to go to Europe or not to go to Europe, that is the question. Well, it's really not much of a question. We will be going. But I doubt we'll be doing all of Europe. We probably won't spend more than 2 or 3 months there, if that. Our idea right now is to visit only expensive countries where we know people and can crash on their couches (Hi Fned and Rachel!). And then we'd head to the relatively cheaper parts of Eastern Europe. We'd also like to do a whirlwind tour of the Middle East and go to Dubai. A really good college friend of mine is from there.


I have in my mind that I'd like to go to Africa and work with some kind of volunteer program there but I'm not specifically sure what or where yet, so those details will be worked out once the time is nearer.



And then from there, we'll be off to Asia, ahhhh, sweet, cheap Asia! It's a backpacker's paradise. :) We'll basically spend our time traveling there until our money has almost run out, and then with the last that's left in our budget, head to Australia for one last hurrah. By that time, hopefully we'll have found a country that we are both dying to live in. We're hoping to have about 10k in a fund apart from the traveling money, that will be our emergency fund. Then, if nothing happens requiring us to use that emergency money (knocking on wood right now), that will be our start-up in a new country money so that wherever we end up arriving we'll have the means to live for a few months while we get our feet on the ground and find jobs.


In an ideal world that's our plan. And in an ideal world, we'll be able to save up 60k. 10k for emergency/start-up money and 50k for the rest of the trip. Keep in mind that we'll have 50k for the rest of the trip + whatever I make monthly as I blog. Although, I'm also trying not to count on that money as much because I know there will be times when we don't have internet access.


A few other things to consider, my dad has said that our business will cover my student loans for a year since for a long time I worked for him for next to nothing. So this is his way of paying me back. But if we travel for more than a year, I don't want to have to count on him paying those. So that's $400 dollars a month, but may be a little less by then, because I've been paying back extra every month since I started paying almost two years ago. So each time the loan is recalculated (annually), the monthly payment goes lower.


We'll also be paying approximately $200 dollars a month for Marcelo's education after his first semester this year ends (which is being paid by the amazing JMCS readers who donated their time and money to help this cause!).


And then, of course, there's travel insurance. I'm not sure how much that will cost, but we'll need it for sure. We want to be covered in case either of us has any health problems on the road, and then plus we're hoping to get our camera equipment covered from theft while we travel. I'd imagine that the policy would be fairly expensive, but I'll do more research on that when we're closer to our estimated leaving date.


A few other random insights into our budget:
-Starting in Feb. we're putting $300 a month into an IRA.
-All photography money I make is only spent on photography business related expenses (new gear, marketing materials, etc.). So it's like that money doesn't even exist until I *someday* get to the point where I'm actually making profit after expenses.
-This year we should be able to save approximately $25,000. That will put us at $45,000 in December, which is our planned leaving date, so we'll be $15k short. We may leave with what we have and travel less time. Or we may decide to stay a few extra months. These figures are calculated based on our current salaries.
-S. is starting a business that should be up and running in Feb. and turning profit by March. At first it won't be a significant amount of extra income, but as the ball gets rolling, it could end up being a lot. A lot as in, we'd far surpass our savings goal. But, since that's all just predicted and isn't anything concrete yet I'm not counting those numbers in the totals.



If you have any questions, feel free to ask. As you can tell, I'm open about the finance stuff.

Travel Realities

While I am fully looking forward to our big trip around the world, I'm also very realistic about the parts of traveling that I don't like.


I'm not a wuss or anything when it comes to the outdoors. In fact, I can out climb S. up a volcano, no problems. I don't complain about getting tired or thirsty when I hike. Rain and bad weather doesn't bother me.


That's not what I'm worried about.


I suck at sleeping in strange places. And since we're planning to be on the road for at least a year, that's a lot of sleepless nights. Unlike S., I can't just pass out anywhere, anytime, so sleeping on buses/trains/planes is out for me. I'm hugely germaphobic, so I'm definitely not looking forward to shared hostel showers or sleeping on grimy sheets. Avoiding the temptation to overpack shouldn't be too hard for me, but I'm really going to miss looking cute for 365 days. I enjoy dressing up and wearing high heels, which isn't really a backpacker option. I know I'll be tired of being away from home eventually.


But, on the other hand, I love hearing other languages and observing new cultures. What I'm most excited about, is being able to photograph people and places around the world! I can't WAIT for that part of the trip. And I also can't wait to be able to spend so much time with my husband. Traveling and our relationship will be our biggest priority rather than work work and more work.


11 more months until D-Day if all goes according to plan. As it creeps up on us the time seems to pass simultaneously slower and quicker. On one hand, I think about leaving every single day and the wait until we have enough money feels like agony. On the other hand, I remember when we decided we wanted to save enough money to travel the world and we started saving. That was a year and a half ago and I felt like '09 would never be here. But looking back, the time passed in a blink of an eye.

Turning 25 Equals Death

I'm going to be 25 years old on Feb. 21st. Hopefully I don't die the next week, but we'll see. Odds are not in my favor.

Women are more likely to die in the week after their birthdays than any other week of the year, while men's deaths peak before their birthdays, according to Professor David Phillips of UC San Diego, who analyzed millions of death records. Birthdays, he theorizes, may function as a "lifeline" for many women, who prolong life for the occasion, but act as a literal "deadline" for men.

I'm not planning on offing myself, nor am I clinging to life from any deadly illnesses (that I know of). But, just in case, you guys know my funeral instructions. Yes, I'm morbid. I think about those strange kinds of things often. For example, I spent a long time crafting a backup plan for my wedding photography clients just in case something happens to me so they can still get what they paid for. I've also made sure to tell S. numerous times that if I die, he should still take our money and go on the trip around the world without. I wouldn't want him staying home just because I happened to come down with a little case of death.


I don't dwell on dying or anything, but I do think of what would happen...just in case. I wonder if that's weird, or if other people think about death as much as I do, but have the common sense not to blog about it.

More From Our Photo Shoot at University of Tampa

We just got the rest of our photos back from our photo shoot at University of Tampa, back in the beginning of December. YAY! I feel like I wouldn't be getting my full money's worth of the shoot if I don't show off some of my favorites. :)



I was uncomfortable and flashing anyone who walked by in this one, but the shot came out great so I can't complain. :)



No surprise here, I love all the headless ones.








We were laughing here because S. said he was going to fart on my head. Awww, we're so romantic!




More feet picture love.






FYI, they posed us like that. That's not how I normally stand.














Now I just have to decide which one to get blown up into a canvas for our wall. I'm pretty heavily leaning towards this one. What do you think?




All images in this post by Mark Brooke Photographers.

Leona Lewis' Run

Sometimes a song speaks to me. Leona Lewis' Run (originally by Snow Patrol) moves me to tears every time I listen to it. I have it on repeat right now. I'm practically dehydrated from crying so much. Her voice is beautiful and the song is haunting.


My brother and I have a special relationship. We're connected probably more than I'm connected to anyone else in this world. I don't mean that we're necessarily closer. In our day to day lives we have little contact. But, when he hurts I feel it as if it were my hurt too. And his happiness' are mine as well. There have been times when I've suddenly had a nervous pit in my stomach, only to call my mom and find out something's wrong. And when he's at peace, I feel that, even ten gazillion miles away in Chile. Moving hasn't changed that.


The chorus of Run reminds me of him. I know that this probably isn't what the song is about, but that's the best part about music -- you can interpret it anyway you want to. If you're at work and can't watch the video here are the lyrics of the part that makes me think of my brother.

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you, dear

Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak, I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

My brother is so special. It sounds corny to say that, but anyone who's ever met him knows that's true. I know he looks up to me for the conventional successes that I've had in my life. His own path has strayed pretty far off the beaten track and he seems to think that someone makes him less successful. But regardless of what he has or hasn't accomplished, I truly wish I could be more like him.


He's the most selfless person I've ever met. He would give anyone the shirt off his back if they needed it. He has always effortlessly and unconsciously reached out to those on the outskirts, the so-called outcasts of life -- even in high school when it wasn't cool to do so. If you're talking to him, he listens, genuinely interested, not distracted and wanting to butt in with his own stories and problems the way most people do, myself included. His charisma is absolutely undeniable. Even at my wedding, where he did a toast in English and half the guests didn't understand, he still brought the house down. When he's happy he lights up a room completely.

I don't know how else to describe him, except that he's just good, down to his very core. Good, like nobody else I've ever met.


I know how he struggles. I know he thinks he's not good enough. So I'll say it again,

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice

I love him. I miss him so much. I just want life to lead him somewhere he can be happy. Light up, baby brother.

How Much Do You Spend on Groceries in Santiago, Chile?

"How much will I spend on groceries living in Santiago, Chile?"

This is a question I get asked a lot in emails. Normally I answer from my own personal experience, but I'm not sure if our grocery expenses are normal.


We spend around 80,000-100,000 Chilean pesos about every 3 weeks on groceries. Before when we used to eat out all the time that much worth of groceries could last us 4+ weeks, but now I'm going out for lunch once a week or less (and to someplace cheap like Subway, when I do), and we are limiting our restaurant eating out to once a week or less as well. So at 3 weeks with that much groceries our cupboards are bare!


My hubby seems to think that this is an absurd amount of money to be spending on food. But that's just because his mother is like Jesus -- she can turn a loaf of bread and a bottle of wine into a full meal for 50 people. She's a very thrifty shopper/cook, a non-existent talent in this household.


I used to spend a fortune on palmitos and pickles. I'm not even going to tell you all how much money we could have saved if I would have cut those two foods out of my diet sooner -- it's actually embarrassing. Now, we still order little extras. As much as I want to save money for our trip around the world, my husband can't live without absurd amounts of strangely flavored lactose, and I won't do without my nightly glass of champagne or wine. So that's what bumps our grocery total up a bit. But, I'm wondering, do we spend more than the average?


If anyone who lives (or has lived) in Chile could leave a quick comment and tell me how much you spend on groceries for how many people in your household, I would appreciate it! That way I can tell people how much groceries in Chile really cost and not feel I'm leading them astray because of my spoiled gringa perception. :)


Katina and Heather both decided to do their own posts on the subject of groceries in Santiago since their comments ended up getting really long. So if you want to do the same and turn this into a mini group blog I'll put your link up here!
*Edited to add: Here's Emily's post on the topic as well.