Highest Blog Traffic Month Ever!

AWESOME!

I'm so excited!!!! I just checked my Statcounter for the month of March and it was my highest trafficked month for JMCS ever, beating my old record by a looooooooong shot! I mean, don't get excited or anything, in big girl blog terms my traffic is NOTHING. I'm actually too embaressed to even say how many page views it is because I know nobody else will be impressed. But for me, it's really good. :)


So thank you so much to everyone who visits the page, reads in RSS form, email form, group blogs, comments, whatever. I started this little blog just so I could write. You know, because I really like to write, clearly. Never in a million years could I have imagined that it would become this amazing community and support system of people in Chile, the U.S. and around the globe. Thanks so much to everyone for being a part of it!


Real post and Q&A video coming soon. Sorry, end of the month is tough, I'm always swamped. I'll try to do the video tomorrow.

Futbol Chileno

First off, let me tell you that this post was supposed to be a video post answering some of the questions from you guys. However, last night I went to tape the video and the batteries on my camera were dead. Vlogging FAIL. And I'm not sure I'll have time to tape something tonight, so I'll get to that as soon as possible but it might not be within the next couple of days.


Moving on.


Last night Chile wiped the floor with Peru -- I'm talking about futbol, clearly. Because A. I would never use such crass terms to describe a racially charged political situation and B. I don't really care too much about what's going on between these two countries anyways. They've always had beef with each other and I don't foresee that changing any time soon, no matter what happens with their borders.



So back to soccer. I love watching, I love playing, I love everything about it. Chile is my honorary team, although I'll admit, in past World Cups, I've rooted for Argentina after the U.S. was knocked out (and because Chile hasn't made it to any of the past WC's in my recent watching history). I know that's something a true Chile fan would NEVER do. Mention Argentine futbol and to a Chilean and you're bound to get the same reaction from most Chileans, "Argentinos culiados!" But in the end, I'm a futbol fan. And if Argentina's playing good soccer, I want to watch. I get bored by those French and Italian pansies.



Last night, like I said, Chile beat Peru 3-1. But right before the game S. and I headed to the supermarket. Holy bad idea, batman! Lines were 10-15 people deep. Every Chilean in Santiago was out making their pre-game purchases. As I stook there waiting to check out, I chuckled to myself and wished I had my camera with me. In the line I was in, all but one person were buying giant bags of carne and pan. Most also accompanied that with bolsas de mayo and huge bottles of Coca Colas and pisco Capel -- Chilean culture at it's finest. :)



We arrived back home and cooked up some choripanes minus the bread and made some pebre to go along with while we watched. It was our own mini-asado and I think we might have to make it into a tradition. We don't normally go out to watch the games, because we both always have to work. Surprise, surprise. So last night we stayed in, but by eating choripan and pebre and having the game on while I wrote a few stories, I felt more connected to the triumph. I felt like I was a part of the Chilean celebration.





So last night was fun. Not as fun as the historic moment when we beat Argentina but it was an enjoyable moment nonetheless. Although this was the first time Chile had beat Peru in Peru in something like 24 years, I'm going to be honest, I expect Chile to beat the Bolivias, and Perus and Venezuelas of the soccer world without problem. So I can't say I see it as any kind of enormous victory. What is impressive though, is the fact that Bielsa has completely turned this team around. I think he's the first coach in a long time who takes things seriously, and while he might be a complete crazy, he's doing a great job. The work ethic and drive that the players didn't have before, shows.


And honestly, during futbol matches, that's one of the few times when I feel like I'm a part of Chilean society. Normally, when I speak about this country and the culture here, I talk in terms they and we. "They do this," but "we (meaning we the gringos) do this." But, when Chile scores, I'm all, "WE SCORED! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!"


I hung my head in shame and cried alongside the entire country after Chile's embaressing non-qualifying run for Germany '06. But, I think Chile is well on it's way to South Africa if things keep up this way. And when they qualify, I'll be right there with every other Chilean screaming, "Vamos, vamos Chileeeeeeeenoooooos!" I'll be saying, "We did it."

Friday!!!

I love Friday, even though I have no plans to do anything except work. It's just a mental thing. I always get excited for weekends, even though the truth is that I can't remember the last time I had a non-working weekend. However, I can sleep in and start working at the time I feel like it, so that's good enough for me.


I guess I don't have any stories to tell or any deep observations on Chile society to share today so I'll just wrap up a few quick odds and ends.


First off, thank you SO much to those of you who commented or simply went to pay my story at TONIC a visit. I really appreciate it! I'll be posting over there more often now so I'll probably often link to what I'm writing about going green in Chile.



Second of all, remember when I posted about being back in love with Chile because of two weddings I shot in one weekend? The second one is up, complete with pictures of my take on the American Gothic portrait and a performance by the famous Chilean folkloric singer, Charo Cofre.




Thirdly, I can't believe I forgot to mention this earlier, but Marcelo has just about finished his first month at DUOC! He said that some of his classes are really fun (he has one on architectural drawing or something like that, which he thinks is super cool). He has a grumpy old professor for an Intro to Construccion class, but he's not worried because he says he already knows all of the concepts. Duh. He's been working in construction for longer than S., so he'll be fine there. Marcelo is however, really worried about his math class. They had to take a placement test to see what level they'd start at and out of 50 questions he only got 5 right. But, the highest scoring person in the class only got 20 right, so I guess either all the kids in his class aren't meant to be mathmeticians, or the test was really freaking hard. I'm going to go with the latter. He has another test coming up soon. He's pretty nervous about it. Marcelo needs to pass this class because he has a math class every semester from here on out and if he fails one, he'll fall behind. He says that he remembers learning most of the concepts at some point or another, but high school was so long ago that he's fuzzy on everything.



S. says that people at work have been helping Marcelo study, teaching him math concepts that he doesn't get, and sharing their old school materials with him. Plus, the boss-man isn't giving him any trouble when he needs to leave early for class. I think it's so cool that this whole thing became a group effort!



And lastly, I found this quote that I wrote down from when S. and I were on our way back from the U.S. flying home to Chile.

Me, worried, during turbulence: S., does this scare you?
S. No, it's just like the micros...a big micro in the sky.

LOL.


PS. If you have a question that you want me to answer in my video this weekend, ask now or forever hold your peace!

The Big Burn: Extended Version

Hey guys! I wrote up an extended version of what happened with the big fire burning down the apartment near where I live over at TONIC News.


TONIC is now having us promote our stories as much as possible so if you could take a second to click over to my story that would be AWESOME and I would appreciate it so very much. I also just got fired from one of my other blogs which is cutting back and going through some big changes, so I'd really like to keep this job. Meaning I'm trying to guilt you into checking out my story -- your clicks and/or comments are much appreciated. :)


And also, TONIC is a really blog all about good news and green living. So if you like being happy, you'll like the content over there, seriously.

Just Married Chilean Style FAQ's

Way back in the day I started responding to some of the frequently asked questions I got when I ran that survey/contest on the blog. But I never got around to finishing answering all of them. So I'm going to make a video blog this weekend and try to respond to the rest of those.



I thought I'd open this back up in case anyone else has anymore questions. Feel free to ask whatever you want about Chile, my dog, my life, my weight, our travel plans, finances, photography...I am an open book!


Leave a comment on this post with your question or send me an email: kylehepp (at) gmail dot com. I'll do a video blog and answer as honestly as possible. :)

My Twin

I have a twin. She's homeless and lives in San Francisco.


People on Flickr are always discovering her and I and then sending me emails to tell me I look just like her.



I have her picture bookmarked and every once in a while I go back to look at the girl...a reminder that our life is sometimes nothing more than the circumstances we are born into. Sure, everyone is capable of rising above, I fully believe that. But, being born to parents who love us, who aren't poor, who aren't drug addicts -- the list could go on and on -- gives anyone of us with this privilege a huge home court advantage.



I go back and look at her because she is me/I am her in a different life. The description by the photographer who took the picture says "she's smarter than she lets on," and "from everywhere." So am I.



Today this was my amazing life. I had a big salad with bacon ranch dressing that an angel from Cincinatti brought me, my bottle of fizzy water that's always with me, and a glass of chilled, sweet red wine for dinner. I used the internet to work while my dog sat on the couch and kept me company. As I sit here I can smell the flowers that a good friend brought us.












I am blessed. I look at her photo and wonder where she is and what she's doing now. I hope she's found her way.

Places to See on Our Trip Around the World

Obviously, I want to see everywhere and everything that the world has to offer. That's probably not possible due to the fact that we have been saving no money lately.

Anyways, these are a few places top on my list.

In Chile:

La Carretera Austral
Patagonia
Chiloe
Easter Island


In South America:

Galapagos Islands
Cartagena de las Indias
Angel Falls
Machu Picchu


In Central America:

I just really want to go back to Costa Rica! Ever since we went 3 or 4 years ago that place has been on my mind.


In North America:

I'd really like to spend some time in some of the smaller Mexican beach towns.
NYC. Again, because I love it.
California, because I'm pretty I'd love it but I've never been.
S. is dying to go to Canada, and I wouldn't mind spending some time camping there.


Europe (I'm just going to list countries, not specific destinations within each country, because there are too many).

Ireland
France
Italy
Greece
Turkey
Czechoslavakia
Germany (Ok, here, I really want to go see the concentration camps. I feel like those are just something that every person should see).
Pretty much anywhere in Eastern Europe


Middle East:

Dubai (I have a really good friend who lives there)
Anywhere within cheap flying range.


Asia:

Tibet would be my top priority if I could only go one place, but really, I don't know enough about this side of the world to pick out specific destinations. I do know that a lot of places are cheap and beautiful and that's enough to make me want to see it all. :)


I also really want to see New Zeeland, and Australia as long as our money doesn't run out! You'll probably also notice that nowhere in Africa is on there. Of course I would love to do a safari, but those are for rich people, or people with a lot more money saved than what we have. And plus, that's something we can also do when we're older, even if we have kids...especially if we have kids. What child doesn't dream of going on a safari?!? I would like to do some sort of service work in Africa, but I need to find a charity that's not shady, not religious and doesn't involve teaching English. I'd also love to do Egypt.


Suggestions are more than welcome! We'll take anyone's advice on where to go and what to see if we can swing it. Please realize that if I didn't list a specific country or place it's not because I don't want to go there, it's just that I'm realistic in knowing that while we might have an infinite amount of time we do have a finite amount of money and for now these are the priorities.



I'm also trying to make sure that if we are skipping certain places, they're places we'll be able to get back to easily once we're older and even if we have kids. For example, you CAN vacation in Europe when you're older, even with children. Since it's more expensive, it probably makes sense to wait until we're better established and have enough money to enjoy it. However, we cannot backup through Asia when we're older and have kids, and it's cheaper now, making it more of a priority on my list.

Why I'll Leave Chile

This country is not for me.



As much as I love certain bits and pieces of it, aside from my husband, they are all superficial reasons and not enough to hold me. It's the man I love who ties me here. I'm tied to him and through him, to Chile. I love that connection, but S. himself doesn't feel a strong bind either. To him this place is like a family member. He knows he has to love it and so he does so, sometimes begrudgingly, sometimes not.



In the long term though, the reason is simple. Life in some other countries is easier. To a Chilean 30-40 hours a week is a part-time job. To someone in the U.S. that's a full time employment, and many people earn much more salary-wise in the U.S. while working much less.



And thinking way long term, the best education that money can buy here leaves children completely isolated from the realities of the rest of their country. Time after time I run into cuicos who live up in La Dehesa, go to school in La Dehesa, have never been below Plaza Italia and generally have no clue about the living conditions of the rest of Chile. I wouldn't want my children to have that mentality. But odds are, if they go to a cuico school and live in cuicolandia to be close to said colegio, they'll be brushing up against it on a pretty regular basis.


Then there are the silly little things that rub me the wrong way. I'd like to be able to get a hair and when I ask for "layers" to not come out with a mullet instead. The "close families" that people from Latin America always brag about drive me nuts when they'd rather suffocate than turn their children independent. Culturally, I find most Chileans extremely hard to read, and have had little success in making friends with Chilean women. Of course, there's the HUGE trust issue as well, which I have talked about on this blog a lot, but I would classify it as one of the defining characteristics of Chileans who live in Santiago. "Piropos," aka catcalls, especially when they cause me to get in fights, make me want to claw my eyes out, as does public transportation using the metro. The difference between socioeconomic classes pains me and makes me uncomfortable. Women are exploited in the name of being a "promotora," every day. And just the fact that Chileans put mayonnaise on everything and walk slower than snails is enough to push me over the edge if I'm already having a bad day.



Those reasons wouldn't be enough to have me wanting to leave.



But, there are the reasons my perceptions have been shaped the way they have. Chile has given me reason after reason to hate it with the passion of a thousand burning suns. I don't hate it because it also gave me S.



Today, I was talking with a friend and she said, "Maybe all those things that happened to you were lessons you needed to learn. If you had learned them in any other city you'd hate that place instead. But since they happened here, you'll forever hold that against Santiago, regardless of it's good or bad characteristics." Wise words. Maybe I could have really loved it here long term. But I'll never know because we can't turn back the clock. And she's right, I will forever hold these things, not necessarily against the city, but as a part of me. I can't forget them. They've made me paranoid and that's OK because it's my mind's way of protecting me, making sure I never get in such horrible situations again.



In my own way, I very much respect this country and appreciate it for what it is. But that's not enough. Chile isn't for me.

I Won!!!!

I know I gripe about living in Chile sometimes, but I have this country to thank for winning me an AWESOME contest!!!!

One of my favorite photographers (I've linked to him before from my photography blog, so you might have already seen his blog, but if not, run, do not walk to his website, his pictures are amazing), Bobby Earle, held a contest to win a DVD. The DVD has info from a rad businessman/photographer and a presentation from an incredible photographer who I love, Jasmine Star. I actually tried to go to her workshop a while back, and when I started searching for plane tickets and hotels and realized the cost, I started bawling like a little baby.


So my tears and living in Chile were what pushed Bobby over the edge to choose me as the contest winner and to say I'm pumped would be an understatement. I'm like a little sponge ready to soak up all the information on that DVD and put it into use! :)


Check out Bobby's blog and leave him some love. Tell him how awesome his pictures are, or you can just thank him for the DVD for me :)

Thanks for Group Blogging With Me!

I just made a quick video to say thanks to everyone who participated/read/commented on the group blog! I love everyone who takes part in this little community of Chile bloggers that we have. Thanks so much!!!


Hello from my 5d Mark II from Kyle Hepp on Vimeo.

PS. These videos were shot with my new camera that has HD video capacity too. WOAH, cool. I will probably never really learn how to use it. I'm still mastering the craft of photography too, I don't even want to think about the time that would be needed to spend learning videography too...but for now, it's great for high quality videos for JMCS.

Also, I realize that I speak grammatically incorrect English in this video. Please forgive me, my English is out of practice. Writing is fine, but speaking...not so much. Sometimes I sound like a foreigner. :P

PSS. This was a test video we shot of Papito. I LOVE HER.


My Dog from Kyle Hepp on Vimeo.

Group Blog: What Draws Us to (or Drives Us From) Chile

Leave a comment with a link to your post when it's up and I'll start putting all the links up in the morning!

Amanda: Her story started when a Yugoslavian and a Chilean fell in love.
Abby: Forced to come at first, fell in love later.
Lydia: Came looking to be out of her element, and will leave because of the struggles of various proportions (economics, community, education, etc.)
Emma: "What is the deal? Are we all from the same womb? Is our generation instrinsically prone to latin-love-affairs-turned-serious-life-altering-decisions?"
Aimee: She was hoping not to like Chile in order to have a reason to "just be friends" with her Seabass.
Shannon: She came for love but she'll leave so that she can afford the 5 kids of her dreams.
Tamsin: The man of her dreams brought her here and who knows where the future will take her.
Sara: Nostalgia and La Tercera convinced her she was making the right decision.
Emily: Santiago promised distance and dictatorship.
Miyaunna: She was here in Temuco on a scholarship and wants to come back to see if she can hack it one more time.
Clare: She didn't choose Chile, Chile chose her.
Leigh: In the battle between good versus, aka Chile versus Ecuador, guess which country won out?
Tyffanie: A careful study of study abroad programs led her here. Robbery at gunpoint makes her question whether to stay or leave.
Emily: For her, it all started in high school with a Chilean exchange student who lived with her family!
Irini_ta: Running from a broken relationship, she wanted far FAR away vacations. Mexico was too close, Peru and Bolivia sold out...she ended up in Chile where she met the true love of her life.
Jessica: Chile wasn't interesting to her at all yet she was desperately needed by an organization here.
Renee: My favorite quote from her post says, "I've gained a sense of why my favorite writer loved his birthplace and also why he left."
Isabel: A gut feeling combined with her heritage led her here.
Andre: Hot girls were the original motivating factor in his arrival in this long country :P

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In the beginning, way back in the beginning, when I was 13 or 14, nothing drew me here. In fact, quite the opposite -- my mom sent me to Chile. Not necessarily against my will, but when she sent me I was more than a little hesitant, wary and unsure of what I was getting myself into.



But, I arrived to a host mother who was more than accommodating and willing to accept me as her hija gringa, classmates who were patient with the exchange student's non-existent Spanish, and incredibly kind and welcoming nonetheless. We were so young that there was nothing of politics and prejudices involved in my friendships back then. I was often homesick and frustrated by my complete lack of communication skills. As I spoke almost none of the language, I was isolated into my own little world -- being able to break out of that was a challenge, and we all know there's nothing I love more in life than a good challenge.



Studying abroad in Chile in high school had a bigger impact on me than probably anything else in my formative years, aside from my parent's divorce. It was in this country I learned to be independent, to be a little person all on my own. In the neighborhood of Puente Alto, one small sector of Santiago, yet much larger than my entire home city of Grandville, Michigan, I learned to depend upon myself, to be stronger than I thought I could be. I grasped a better understanding of how to communicate with people and how to try and fit in with a foreign culture. I learned how to learn. I started to learn how to accept people because, not in spite of their differences (although if we're really being honest here, I'm still working on the kinks on the full grasp of this concept). I witness poverty and compassion and generosity firsthand. I learned that there is an entire world outside the U.S., so different from anything I had ever seen, heard or experienced before. But while the life might be different, people are still the same. People are always the same.



After I came home from study abroad and went back to the relatively small town of Grandville, my world was never the same. I felt like my classmates no longer me understood me, and vice versa. In a way, it was almost as isolating as not speaking Spanish in Chile. Again, there was a communication barrier, albeit, a very different kind.



I loved my high school experience. It was amazing. My friends were incredible, my high school was top notch, I felt passionate about sports and music and a lot of my academics. But, I still continued to spend the next three years in Grandville feeling that I was somehow seeing things differently than other people. It sort of felt like when you're drunk and the world is spinning, and you see someone completely sober walking down the street like normal...and you just can't understand how they can stroll along with so much ease, but you can't make the ground stop moving beneath your feet in order to the same. I was the drunk girl (figuratively, not literally...at least until college) and my classmates were the sober ones. So I longed to go back to Chile, where everyone was drunk, both figuratively and literally.



I thought I was drawn to come back to this country because of a love of the language and the culture and the country itself. But, when I got back and was assaulted on day #5 of my second stay in Chile, when I quickly grew sick of catcalls and daily harassment on the streets, I felt disillusioned. I thought, "I did not spend the last 7 years dreaming of coming back to this Chile." This isn't fun. People aren't nice like I remember. Santiago is uglier and more polluted than it used to be. To me it seemed, things were different here.



But, looking back, I realized the key. All along it hadn't been Chile itself that held the enchantment for me. It wasn't the Andes Mountains glowing purple every night with the sunset, or the sexy mullet'ed men whispering the language of love in my ear. What I was longing for was the personal growth, the independence I found, the challenge I could rise to. That was what I found in Chile the first time around, and that's what I eventually found again when I moved back. I guess you could say, out of total stubborness I was drawn back to Chile by me -- the person I was, and am able to be in this long skinny country.

P.S. I'll have to write about what drives me away in a different post next week. This is far too long already!!!

Group Blog Reminder for Tomorrow!

Just wanted to put up a quick reminder about the group blog tomorrow for anyone who's interested.


I'll write my post up late tonight so you all can start adding your links! I'm excited to hear everyone's thoughts on the topic!

Good Enough

*Update: Heather wrote about a very similar topic today and related it to cultural behaviors in Chile...really interesting, and worth a read if you have time!


*Update #2: Ok, really...other bloggers are in my head today. Alisa from Happily Ever After wrote a very insightful piece on what it's like to chase your dreams, even if they are totally unrealistic. I LOVE this quote from her. She says what I wanted to say with this post in a much more eloquent way:

I like to think of myself as one of those horses with blinders. I’m trotting past a sign that says, “Alisa are you crazy? Everyone is going to laugh at you!” but I don’t see it because of the blinders. I trot past another sign that says, “Just face it. You suck. Get over it,” and, again, the blinders block it out. Then there’s the sign that says, “Your life would be so much easier if you would just accept that this isn’t meant to be.” Not looking at that sign, either. Just not.

The whole post is amazing though, I really recommend you check it out.
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After writing my post about running yesterday and tweeting about it, some people were congratulating me for being able to go 12 miles. But see, that's what I don't like about the sport in general. You're never done. If you go 12 miles today, you have to go 13 miles next week. If you train for a half marathon, then you should keep on training and do a full marathon. And if you run a full marathon you might as well just attempt one of those super duper extreme marathon things were you run for like a week without stopping from Argentina through the Andes Mountains and all the way over to Chile.



On my life's goal list, I have written down, "Visit every continent at least twice." Yes, the paper version has at least underlined, as if seeing the world one time over isn't enough for a single human being. I also have written down specifically that I want to be a billionaire, not a millionaire. Because let's face it -- these days anyone can become a millionaire. Lots of people make a million dollars and manage to sock it away. If I had known who Pioneer Woman or Dooce was at the time, or had thought about writing a blog, one of my goals probably would have been: have a bigger blog than them -- because having a tiny little blog about Chile isn't ambitious enough for me.



Ever since I was a little kid I've believed I could do anything -- literally, anything in the world that I wanted to. And unlike some of my *ahem* evil friends who plan on telling their kids, "No sweetheart, you can't be an astronaut when you grow up. You probably won't be a famous NFL player," I think that's a good thing.



I believe in myself enough to do something that's seemingly impossible -- run a high end wedding photography business in a developing country with no photography or business training whatsoever. I'm not so full of myself that I think I'm untouchable. If someone leaves a mean comment about a photo I took or gives me really harsh constructive criticism it can knock me down for days. And let's not even talk about how nervous I feel when I give clients their photos. No matter how proud I am of the work I've done I get a little knot in my stomach and a voice in the back of my head, asking "Do you really think they're going to love these pictures?" I'll sit at my computer refreshing my inbox over and over again waiting for some kind of feedback -- anything that let's me know they don't hate my work. And when people look at my stuff while I'm physically there with them...forget it. It's all I can do not to pull a Papito and projectile vomit everywhere.



No worries though. S. tells me all the time he thinks I'm going to be a famous photographer someday. He's my daily boost of confidence if I need it. But see, the only problem here is that now I want to be the next Annie Lebowitz rather than be content with just running my own successful business. Because again, anybody can do that!



Its not like I'm the Michael Phelps of anything. I'm never going to wake up one day and have 7 gold medals and go "Yeah. This is enough of an accomplishment for me. I am now officially good enough and can rest on my laurels for the rest of my days. Yay!"



My problem is that my ego is so huge I think I can do anything so my goals in life are absolutely ridiculous. Competition against myself and against everybody and everything is what drives my life and makes me happy.



I'll never be good enough because let's be honest...am I ever going to write a NY times best selling book or win a gold medal in marathoning? Probably not, last time I checked I'm not a Kenyan. But I'll sure as hell die trying, And there's no shame in that.

Running (Ok, Jogging) The Santiago Half-Marathon

The Santiago Half Marathon on April 5th is technically called the Santiago Mini Maraton. But I really don't like involving the term mini with a race that will have me running for over two hours. There is nothing mini about it for me. In fact, right now, just thinking about race day is daunting.


This will be my first time ever running in an official race, and the longest I've ever ran in my life...by a mile, but still.


Last weekend I had to do a long training run 12 mother effing miles.


When I lost 50 pounds I did it by eventually building up to running between 8 and 10 miles every night, and about once a week I'd do 11 or 12. But that was over 5 years ago.


So this past Saturday, I set out full of optimism. "I used to do this all the time, it's nothing!" I told myself as I trotted along happily.

The first 4 miles breezed by, and I grew even cockier. By the second 4 mile lap my legs were growing tired but I still felt like it was nothing I couldn't handle. I was doing fine!


At mile 9 I started to die. By mile 10 I was convinced that I would my death would be a slow and painful one on the running trail of Pocuro in Providencia. By the end of mile 10 I could no longer feel my legs. MY ENTIRE LEGS were numb. I wish I were kidding. I also suspected that I may have been losing a toenail and the last place in my lower region to lose feeling was my toes. I got a little upset about that. I already lost pinky when I started this training. One toenail is fine, but two is too much to sacrifice! At this point I wanted to stop and walk, but the only problem was that I was two miles from home still so I knew that if I did slow to a stroll it would take me at least another hour just to finish those last two miles.


At mile 11 a runner bumped into me really hard as he jostled for position at the front of the pack at a stoplight. I was so pissed off but really too tired to do anything about it, even though that would have been grounds for a serious cussing out under normal circumstances. My only satisfaction came when I passed him less than a block later. EAT MY DUST WEON!!!!!! It took all my restraint not to reach out and shove him to the ground like a little kid on the playground pushing her best friend face down into the sandbox...wait what? You didn't do that too when you were five?


My anger fueled my adrenaline and for the last mile I was able to pick up the pace enough to finish in a respectable 1 hour 54 minutes and 50 seconds. So now I know that in order to do the Santiago Half (NOT mini) Marathon in my goal time of a under a 10 minute mile pace, I just need to get pissed off. No worries, we're running through the streets of Santiago. I'm sure they'll be no shortage of jotes to get me fired up. :)


While I was excited to be able to run 12 miles ago I couldn't shake the feeling that it really isn't that great an accomplishment. As I rounded the corner heading home all I could hear was the voice of Dr. Cox from Scrubs in my head, "Well done, there, Barbie. You're now exactly where you were [five] years ago."*


*From the Scrubs episode, My Porcelain God. For reference Elliot Reed has to re-learn a procedure that she's known how to do for years but is suddenly too afraid to perform. When she's happy with herself after relearning it, that's how Dr. Cox congratulates her. The quote come from the clip below, but you can watch the whole episode on Youtube. Michael J. Fox guest stars as Dr. Kevin Casey and it's amazing. One of the best guest stars ever on Scrubs, and there are a lot of them.

Continuing the Group Blog Tradition?

It's been a looooooong time since we've done a group blog. Is anyone up for one this week?


Someone commented a few days back asking just what it is that brings Gringas to this country in the first place and just what it is that eventually makes them leave.


So, I was thinking that our topic could be: What drew you here to begin with? Obviously a lot of us stayed because of significant others, but what about the original reason for coming? There are millions of places to study abroad in the world -- why Chile? Or if you met your Chilean elsewhere and then came back with him did you feel a pull towards the country or not?


And finally, why did you leave, why will you leave, or won't you?


Group blog would be posted/linked on Friday if people want to do it. Who's in?

Thank God for Firemen

*Update: In the time it took me to write this blog post, the fire has been put out. I can still see a giant, forceful stream of water from my window that goes higher than the smoke in the pictures so they must be using that giant canon thing. As I watched I could see lights turning on and off and the shadows of the firemen with huge flash lights as they went through the building, presumably making sure that everyone was out.

I cried as I took pictures from the outdoor hallway of my building literally 5 minutes ago.


As I type these words, worst case scenario, people's lives are in danger. Best case scenario, a few families are losing everything.







S. thinks I'm totally morbid and sick for taking these pictures and posting them. I don't think it's sick. I just want anyone reading this to think of the people living in that building and send them good vibes, or pray, or whatever it is that you do.


I send a wish up to a higher power, if one does exist, that everyone made it out ok and that they'll have the financial wealth/help from friends and family, to be back on their feet. Scary.


And this just makes me even more grateful for my friend Bret, who's a volunteer fireman back in Michigan. Just like the firemen in Santiago(all volunteers, they even have to pay for their suits and helmets and things to keep them safe themselves, so if you ever see them out on the street asking for donations, please give a few pesos if you can spare it) working to save these people, their pets, and their homes, my friend is willing to risk his life for people he doesn't even know. So if you know any firemen, thank them sincerely today and cross your fingers that you're not the next person they'll be pulling out of a burning building.

JMCS One of Top 100 Best Travel Blogs

JMCS was just named as one of 100 Best Travel Journal Blogs! Granted, I have no idea what the criteria is to make it on the list, or who the author of the website is, but whatever, I'll take it. :)


I'm in good company as a ton of the blogs that I subscribe to are also on the list. Check it out, you'll probably start filling up your Google Reader pretty fast!


Thanks for the honor, Travel Answer Man!

The Russian Delurked

You guys. I am AMAZED. Mystery solved.


The Russian delurked!!!! Never in a million years did I think that post would actually work. She's married to a Chilean (just like me!) who found his way all the way from Moscow to Punta Arenas. She's not blond, she's not a mail order bride, nor does she drink vodka as she reads JMCS. :) Read her delurking comment here.


I think it is SO COOL that I could write that post and get a response back. Just goes to show that the world is a small one after one.


I'm amazed. My mind has been blown...seriously. I love the internet.

Odds and Ends

*Update: I stupidly forgot that the entire point of this post was to help out a good friend. She needs some lines from Chilean television, which I do not watch. They don't have to be anything specific, just some phrases you may have heard people say recently. Maybe from the news or a game show or something. Can anyone give her something to work with here?!?



I've gotten a few emails and comments asking so I just wanted to let you all know, my surprise announcement is coming next week! I'm SO anxious to tell you guys!!!!


And while we're on the subject of emails, I need to write back to quite a few blog readers. If you've written with specific questions and haven't received a response yet, don't think I've forgotten. It's just that most of the times people ask about things that require in depth responses and I want to make sure that when I write back I have enough time respond well and give you the information you're asking for.


I've been busy as crap editing photos. Most recent Getting to Know You/Engagement Session pics are the photography blog. I'm really proud of this session, it's one of my favorites yet, and I used my new lighting system so that was insanely fun!



Last but not least, our tickets for the U.S. have been booked. If you want to hire us for any kind of photography session or wedding photography in August or just meet up, let me know! We'll be in Chicago/Wisconsin/Michigan and New York City. I am SO EXCITED.

People in Russia Who Want to Work in Chile

Who are you??????



Someone from Russia searched, "I want to work in Chile," and then read through a bunch of my archives. Then a few days later another person in Russia searched for almost the exact same thing and read through a bunch more. I'm assuming they're the same person and I'm SO curious.



Delurk! Send me an email and tell me your story! PLEASE! Why do you want to move to Chile? What are you doing in Russia?




I hate stupid Statcounter. It makes me CRAZY. Ever stat should automatically come with the person's name, age, profession and reason for being here. I go mad wondering about these people from random countries who read JMCS.



Even though I know I am so far off base and this is the most ignorant and stereotypical image I could possibly have, I'm picturing someone who looks like this sitting at a little desk, huddling in the cold, sipping shot after shot of vodka and laughing hysterically about how silly and insignificant my life in Chile is as she reads through the archives.

Photo credit: Collector's Armoury and Militaria.

In My Inbox

From a hilarious email written by my friend, Z, today:

PS I totally had to tell you because you'd appreciate it: yesterday I got "piropos" from a midget. (an honest to god midget)

And appreciate it, I do! Wonders never cease. I have been piropo'ed by a child who was MAX, 5 years old, and I've been hissed at by dirty old men who look like they're pushing 350. I think, my favorite though, was when a guy who was squinting and pretending to be blind asking for alms, suddenly opened his eyes wide and could see again, praaaaaaaaaaaise the lord, just so he could tell me what a sexy lady I am. :)


Now Z has been piropo'ed by a midget.



Who can beat that? It's what life in Chile is all about!

*Update: Aaaaand Z is not the only one with midget experience. Check out Lydia's blog about her small friend.

Credit Card Versus Healthy Spending Habits

*Judging by the sunshine today, you'll probably notice that this post was written a few days ago. And winter hasn't really arrived, it just came to visit for 24 hours and then left again.


Today is a dreary day in Santiago. The rain drizzled down and when I took Papi out for a run she came back completely covered in mud. It was so cold that after I gave her a bath to clean her up, in between the time that she was sitting there waiting for me to find the blow dryer she actually started shivering a little. Winter has arrived.



This normally really depresses me. Santiago is romantic and lovely in the rain like Paris. The city floods making parts of the sidewalks impassable and impossible to get across without wetting your feet and pants. It is just ugly, and oh so very grey during the off season here.



But, today, I wasn't depressed at all.



In fact, I'm feeling good. You could say that's because this is the first cold day we've had in months and it's just nice to have a change. Or you could say that I am on the verge of booking wedding number six, which would put me exactly halfway to my goal of booking 12 weddings in 2009, which honestly felt impossible when I wrote it down. And I have several other prospects for weddings 7, 8, and 9 for the year. Although I'm not counting my chickens before they're hatched.


So after seeing the inquiries increasing significantly with the booking percentage holding steady, I decided to celebrate like any good photographer -- I bought the new Canon 5d Mark II! This is the first thing for the business that I've ever bought on credit. Normally any money I make off of photography goes into a fund for new equipment and once I've saved enough for whatever I need, I buy it. But, this camera is a big investment and I feel like it's what I need to take me to the next level. I know that using a credit card for a purchase this big isn't necessarily the healthiest spending habit, and I'll admit, seeing my balance go that high makes me nervous. This is the first time we've used a credit card that we haven't been able to pay off at the end of the month. I'm hoping it's worth it!



And I'll admit that on a selfish level as well -- this is the camera I want to travel the world with. :)


I love photography so much and I'm trying so hard to make it work. Inching ever so steadily towards my goals has me in a good place right now. As long as I know that I'm moving forward, always moving, no matter how slow the pace may be, I'll be alright.

In Love With Chile

You walk into a room. Your heart skips a beat and the butterflies float in your stomach . His eyes meet yours, and while you're not sure it's love or lust, you know it feels damn good.


Then you start dating and he starts farting (sometimes on your head). If the relationship is a good one you love each other more and more anyways, just in a different way. If the relationship is unhealthy or one sided you might begin to despise each other and slowly but surely everything goes downhill -- no matter how mind blowing the sex was in the beginning. You might still love him, but, things will never be the same and you've got to get out (*ahem* Rihanna. Yes, I judge her for staying with Chris Brown).


This is how I feel about Chile. I thought I was in love in the beginning. Then when we got to know each other, we realized we really weren't a good fit. We'll break up on good terms and I'll leave happy because in the end, it simply wasn't meant to be.


But, last weekend she made me feel butterflies again.



I shot photographed two amazing weddings -- one in Lonquen and the other in Pirque, both on the very outskirts of Santiago.


The first was a beautiful gringa, crazy about her Chilean husband and crazy about Chile. That enthusiasm reminds me of how I felt when I first moved here. Being around people like that always opens my heart back up. I love being around that new love, it brings me back to the days when I really did feel the same (granted, I still do feel the same about my Chilean husband :P)



And the second wedding brought back my love for Chile even more. The bride's mom is well-known Chilean singer of Chilean folkloric singer (her name is Charo Cofre) so during the reception we were treated a mini-concert. When Charo got up on stage and started sharing the family's life story, I was totally captivated. They left Chile after the dictatorship to go live in exile in Italy. She talked about how Matilde Neruda received them abroad to help them make a home there. She had thought she was unable to have kids, but then ended up pregnant with her daughter, and gave birth to her in a foreign country, so far from her native Chile. There were several politicians other people at the wedding who had been with the family while they were in exile. While Charo spoke the atmosphere was so emotional. And when she sang, even more so. One of the songs she performed is below, called "En Esta Ausencia," about their time in exile.







And here's a link to one of the other songs that she sang called "A la Ronda Ronda" which is about watching her little girl grow up and getting married. Unfortunately I can't find a youtube video of her performing. The link is just go someone else's homemade video of the birth of their own daughter with Charo's song in the background.



Normally I tend to think of Santiago as a city full of very grumpy, very angry people. And who can blame the citizens? A person will spend hours transporting him or herself on the hot sweaty micro or metro, being elbowed, pushed and shoved by other cranky Santiaguinos, then a half an hour in line at the local Lider just to buy bread fighting off rude folks who try to cut in front, all while earning a salary that's so low they're barely scraping by. Of course so many people here are miserable, wouldn't you be?



After she finished singing, Charo mentioned that everyone was asking her about the flags. She had lined the road to the venue with giant red hearts, Chilean flags and random multi-colored flags. The reasoning behind the decoration she said, "Porque somos Chilenos y somos alegres!" Translated that means, "Because we are Chilean and we're happy!"



This was more than a wedding to her. This was seeing her daughter marry in the country that she loves. This was knowing that her baby will be able to have babies here, in her own homeland if she so chooses. This was about Chile being a place where her whole family can be happy.



Charo said in the strongest voice with the most conviction I've ever heard anybody use, "Porque somos Chilenos y somos alegres!!!"





And I believed her.

Emergency Vet Visit in Santiago

Sorry for the blogging absence. Last week you could say that I had a little bit of an emotional break down. However, this weekend, I was emotionally and spiritually revived by the two weddings we shot. They were both amazing. Both were SUCH cool couples and both were at completely gorgeous, outdoor, au naturel locations. One was at el Centro de Eventos Alto de Pirque and the other at a place called Casona Lonquen. Being around the most beautiful scenery that Chile has to offer, combined with hanging out with people in their happiest moment and then getting to release creatively by photographing it all was just what I needed.


However, if I was spiritually and emotionally revived, I was physically beaten down. I slept so very little because in during the chaos of the weekend weddings, my dog also got sick. Really sick. It was scary.


We ended up having to make a late night visit to the only veterinary clinic we could find that was still open -- I believe it was called the Clinica Alemana Veterinaria (on Av. Larrain, right off of Tobalaba).


Papito had been throwing up orange chunks everywhere, and eating a ton of grass. That's what dogs do when they have an upset stomach. But then all of a sudden she just got really still. She laid down on the couch and didn't move at all. You could tell she was trying to wag her tail, but she couldn't. Papi wasn't even rolling over to let us scratch her belly like she normally does any time any one gets near her. Her eyes just glazed over and then she pooped herself without realizing it. Her breathing got extremely fast and her tongue was just hanging out. She looked so awful and pathetic.


I realize all that sounds incredibly gross and I apologize for the graphic details. Oddly enough though, I wasn't grossed out at all. I think I now understand in a teeny tiny way, what mothers go through caring for their children. It doesn't matter if you've gotten 3 hours of sleep and have been on your feet for the entire day. When something is wrong with your baby all you want is for her to be better, no matter what the cost to you is. It's so sad to see an animal in pain. They can't tell you what's wrong and you can't tell them that everything is going to be ok because they won't understand.



Papi is fine now, she's cuddled up next to me sleeping. When we got home from the vet the other night, after she was starting to look a little better I just broke down into tears. I love her so much and I would have been devestated if anything had happened. While she was laying there on the couch, the worst case scenarios kept running through my head. Was her dog food made out of lead in China? Did she somehow manage to eat rat poison when we were out on a jog and I didn't notice? But, thank goodness it was nothing that serious. She's on antibiotics now and will be back to normal completely in a day or two.



S. ended up not sleeping for over 24 hours because of shooting a wedding with me and then going to work. He would have had a few hours to nap, but instead we ended up at the vet. And I ended up not finishing some photos for a client that I should have been able to do that day. But when all is said and done, family comes first, even if that family is your dog.

Que Se Me Va de Las Manos

I am mad at someone I love very much (not S., please don't try to guess).



I feel hurt and wronged.



But, I know that if I don't make things right, they never will be. And I can't live like that. I am incapable of carrying a grudge, even though this time, I feel like if I did, it's because it's well deserved.


I want to forgive. I want to move forward. Because I would never forgive myself if something happened to that person or to me, and we ended on a bad note. That's why I am quick to forgive everyone in my life. I never want to die or to have someone die thinking I was mad at them.



What are the odds of that happening?



Not good. But, ask the people who have experienced a loved one passing away after a fight. That's not something you can leave behind.



Is it worth it to forgive and then keep getting hurt? Is the relationship worth it?

Que se me va de las manos entre el humo de los coches, el verano
Que se me olvida la gente que con mas o menos suerte, me ha ayudado
Y se me va de las manos mientras los dias siguen pasando
Y yo perdiendo la calma, ciudad extrana
Veremos si hoy trae la suerte tu llamada en mi ventana
Que los relojes no duermen y en mi mente sus agujas son espadas
Y se me va de las manos mientras los dias siguen pasando
Y yo perdiendo la calma, ciudad extrana

~Que Se Me Va De Las Manos, Ella Baila Sola




Quick non-related note about the above song -- this was the first song I learned the lyrics to in Spanish. And now that I finally know what they mean I love it even more. :) This is the first time I've ever seen the video, even though I had two of their CD's. I had no idea it was filmed in Valpo! Kind of a cool connection, considering the duo is actually from Spain. They were big when I was on study abroad here in high school, but they dissolved before I came back in college.

Papito

She is so cute she SLAYS me.






PS. I was featured again on the Lost Girls blog! I wrote a little guest post for them about saving up money to take a trip around the world. Check it out here.

Need Photography Assistant

Hi guys, I need a photography assistant for a photo shoot on Thursday. Info on my photography blog. Please pass this along to anyone you think would be interested.

Thanks!

The Definition of Cuico and Flaite

People in Chile have different ideas of what the words "Cuico," and "Flaite," actually mean. I've touched upon the two subjects a couple times, mentioning their definitions briefly in passing, but today I want to write and actual post on the subject.

You are a cuica because you are a gringa.

Myth #1.

Being a cuico does not depend on where you live. Chilean would say that a cuico is someone who is upper class, snobby, looks down on people of a lower social standing. And often times, Chilean society will automatically assume you are a cuico or a flaite, simply based upon your physical address. If you live in a "barrio alto," you are a cuico. A barrio alto, literally translated, means a high neighborhood. This term came about because the rich Chileans tend to move higher and higher up into the Andes Mountains, isolating themselves from the smog, the city bustle and noise, and the poor people. They live in higher altitudes, aka, "barrios altos." A "barrio bajo," or low neighborhood, on the otherhand, tends to be anything below the metro stop Baquedano.

This is actually something that bothers me. I don't like that people assume I am a cuica simply because I'm a gringa or because I live in Providencia. Many (most) Chileans will assume that gringas are rich. I might be (comparatively) now, but that's only because my husband and I have worked our respective butts off. When I first moved here to get married, I was unemployed and my husband made less than 300,000 pesos a month (around $600 U.S. dollars). That's pretty much the same boat most Chileans are in. While I fully realize that we have more opportunities than a lot of people here do, and that our earning potential is much higher, we did, for a long time, live the reality of a non-cuico Chilean family, living in a barrio bajo, (Estacion Central) and barely scraping by on the money we made. Keep in mind that while I might have been able to make more than most Chileans, I am also in more debt from my student loans, than what it would cost most people here to buy a house.

You are flaite because you are poor.

Myth #2.


Chileans call people who are generally lower class and tend to have a certain attitude or set of beliefs, "flaite." Flaite can be a low social class, people who rob and steal to get by, a certain style of dress and a way of talking. For instance, pronouncing the "Ch," in Chile as Shile instead of tChile almost automatically qualifies you as flaite, which is unfortunate.


While many Chileans may classify all poor people as flaite, I really disagree with that. In the U.S., we have a saying that "money can't buy class." And I would have to argue that the same applies to this country.


In Chile socially inappropriate behaviours will qualify you as flaite. The term does connote low socio-economic status as well.

But, I think that's absurd, as the rich are not exempt from behaving socially inappropriate. For instance, I was once on a bus ride back from Algarrobo. Two girls vomited in the back of the bus and didn't clean it up until someone tattled on them. An older woman sitting near me remarked in an aghast tone, "Que flaite!"


Calling them flaite automatically implies that they're poor, when really, any drunk girl of any social class could have behaved just as bad.


My nana is hands down the least economically well-off person that I know, not only in this country, but that I've ever met. Ever. She was worried and tried to turn down our invite multiple times when we invited her to our 40 person wedding because she felt like she'd be so out of place with all the gringos. I was apalled by that because I could see that her fears stemmed from the stereotype, that she included herself in. She was too poor, and therefore too "flaite," to hang out with the gringos coming to the wedding, that were sure to be rich and "cuico." I have never seen my nana act in a manner that I would consider flaite, nor have I ever seen any member of my family take on a cuico attititude.


My own definitions of cuico and flaite are:

Cuico: Someone who lives in their own little bubble, looks down upon anyone who isn't wealthy and judges people based upon where they live.

Flaite: Someone who behaves like a jackass, regardless of social class.

However, those two terms in Chile are heavily weighted by classism and years of stereotypes, so I wouldn't go tossing the words around if I were you. :)


What are your definitions of the words?